I walked briskly on my mission, towards yoga class. I wondered if I was really eating enough...maybe that's why the negative emotions seem to suffocate me. The large quartz crystal, charged with the Bethlehem Grid, lay heavy on my thigh in my pocket. I rounded the corner to see Giselle in the crosswalk. I hadn't seen her in years, and probably hadn't talked to her in a decade. I'd met Giselle when we both volunteered at a food pantry where we portioned out grocery's into packets for the needy. Giselle had introduced me to Louise Hay, saying the text wasn't worth much, but the tables of disease and their metaphysical causes was something. I thought Louise Hay's whole book, You Can Heal Your Life, was something amazing indeed and it formed a major inspiration in my own transformations. I was trying to heal my knees at the time, and that path led me into becoming a healer.
Giselle dodged the car in the crosswalk, and came towards me carrying a heavy stack of books. She said, “Hey where have you been, I haven't seen you for a long time?”. At least that's what I thought she said. I replied, “I've been out of town... I've been nomadic for five years.” She came closer and said, “Hey, are you a Lama? Can you see colors in my aura?”. I smiled, “No, I'm not much of a seer like that.” She seemed disappointed, but quipped, “Can you do things? Do you have techniques?”. Frankly, now, I was quite surprised and at a loss for words. And I was kind of thinking maybe she was just a crazy street person or something. Giselle had seemed a bit on that edge, though I wasn't even sure if this was Giselle. Before I could tell her I had a few tricks up my sleeve, she said, “Hey, do you want me to teach you some things?” “Nah,” I said, “I'm going to yoga.” And she backed into a post then stumbled into a falafel shop with her load of heavy books in her hands. I quickened my pace on auto pilot towards yoga class, not wanting to be late.
I chuckled at the magic of the moment. I thought of the crystal in my pocket and the mythic times I'd had with other such crystals. I wondered if that was really Giselle, or just someone that looked similar. She was heavier than I remembered Giselle. I prayed for her. Prayed that I could channel the Lama for her via distance. I felt a charge of energy course through me... not sure whether it was her magic triggering me... or the fact that I was sending energy back towards her... trying to channel the Lama for her. I thought of my vision of myself of a dusty traveler, shaman, who's presence catalyzed journey's into the mystic. It's one of those visions that is like a dream I glimpse from time to time. Not really anything I've intended, but just this faint image that skirts through my consciousness just often enough to think there's some substance to it... that maybe that's who I'm to someday be. Not that I have any real idea how to be it, nor even if it's really what I want to be it. But I wonder if its my destiny creeping up on me.
I felt better than I had all day. During Yoga it came to me, that I had to not let myself be stuck in my emotions. Pray, intend, do Reiki, keep at it. Don't give into the the reality of destitution. Spend the last dollar and intend, trust, pray, that more will come. Get to that point where I can laugh when I'm out of money... take the fear away.. the charge... then the reality can shift. If you can't laugh at it, your likely still to attached for things to shift.
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Showing posts with label presence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label presence. Show all posts
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Clueless and Present
A few weeks ago, I was talking to my sister and inquired how my young nephew was doing. He tends to be lost in his own world. "Well, he's present, but clueless." she replied. We laughed. I said, "Well, that's a pretty good way to BE!" Some of us in my family, including myself, are noted for their worry, overthinking, and indecisiveness at times.
I've oft thought in recent years how wonderful it is to be naive, innocent, clueless. To be Present to what is going on, without the judgments of interpetation, labeling, and analysis, that create separation and duality. To know someone just as they are without labels of overweight, overly dramatic, and that person that did X to me six months ago. To be fresh and innocent as a child or a visitor on a virgin visit.
I remember years ago, hanging out with friends in social situations. The group would disperse, and someone would be with me and say, "Did you notice how ___ X was?" And I would sheepishly reply, "No". I hadn't noticed anything. To me the person was just being their own unique self, doing what they do. I wasn't pigeonholing them into some history of annoying habits, nor was I putting them into a history of good habits.
It's a difficult state to maintain. We tend to repeat experiences and the more we repeat, the more we think we know. The mind likes to accumulate bits of "knowledge". The mind is a gift when we master it, but a ball and chain when it masters us.
Take something like sex. Years ago, when I first came out, I was just so amazed that I could be having sex with some beautiful man. It took my breath away. I didn't know what I liked historically because I had no history. I could only say what felt good and what didn't in the present moment. Now I have a history. Now I have a range of experience. My mind can invade the present with labels, probabilities, expectations, mental constructions of what I think I want. It can start a dialogue, well more like a monalogue, like a baseball commentator.
The process can happen with anything, whether sex, painting, doing Reiki, touching God(dess). The more we do it, the more we tend to think about it. This is where the practice of awareness can come in... we can take our awareness of the present and choose a different path. We can choose to focus on the energy sensations of Reiki, or our breath, rather than focusing on the thoughts. We can choose to just be that witness, rather than identify with our thoughts or emotions. With practice we can become clueless.
That is one thing I have always enjoyed about Reiki. You can just focus on the energy. You don't have to analyze it. Just follow the flow. The mind strives for control. It wants to know why, what's wrong, facts, figures, concepts. But the Reiki just is, if we let it be.
I remember doing Reiki on a lover of mine. There was lots of energy flow around his abdomen. I thought that was a good thing... the more flow, the more healing, the more better. My friend had some training in Reiki. He'd been doing sex work, getting penetrated was his "thing", but he'd been feeling some imbalance in his belly. When we finished the session, he said, "Did you feel that?" "What?", I replied. "All that energy around my belly?" "Oh, that, yeah, I guess so, now that you mention it." "You know what that means don't you?" "ummmm what?" I asked. "That my belly is really messed up!" he exclaimed. I told him I didn't see it that way at all. I didn't place that judgment on the session or him. The important thing was how he felt after the session, if he was pain free now. If there was that much energy flowing, I would say the imbalance was healed.
Sometimes I resist even giving any form of metaphysical diagnosis. Diagnosis can serve a purpose in quieting the mind that wants to know the "why" of a dis-ease. A diagnosis only serves when it can be released. Most of the time I attract clients that understand this. A few times I haven't. In particular I remember doing group healings years ago in New Mexico. I would work on a group of 20 or so at a time, going through the standard Intuitive Energy Medicine protocol. It included a muscle testing assessment to determine what was out of balance on each person, and then the energy work to balance all the conditions. I would do the assessments, record them for each person. After the session, I would burn the papers for confidentiality purposes, and also symbolically transmute the imbalances. In those groups, there would always be a couple of people who wanted to save their assessment to know what was wrong with them. It would take me several minutes to explain, that the purpose of the session was to let go of those patterns, that my intention was that they had no reason to remember them because they were going to BE in a new way.
My advice to healers is if you can't heal it, don't diagnose it... I suppose there is a caveat if you know of someone to refer the client to.
I'm digressing a bit.
Thoughts come and go; paradigms come and go; analyses get proven and disproven; preferences change; impermanence abounds. The constant is that part of you that witnesses. Ground that witness in unconditional love. Let the rest go, or even keep it, just don't identify with it.
Yes, be Present and True to yourself... focus on the present energy and what feels good, what you would like the next moment to look like, based on the present moment. Keep it moment to moment. Keep it to your highest intentions. Listen as much as you "talk". Listen to the energy of your higher self. By Clueless, I don't mean unaware. I mean unencumbered by the Past, and the Future. I mean empty of all stories but Unconditional Love, Joy, Abundance, and Empowerment. Be simple. Focus on the warm glow within.
Breathe. Observe as a child. Enjoy the experience. Be Clueless and Present.
I've oft thought in recent years how wonderful it is to be naive, innocent, clueless. To be Present to what is going on, without the judgments of interpetation, labeling, and analysis, that create separation and duality. To know someone just as they are without labels of overweight, overly dramatic, and that person that did X to me six months ago. To be fresh and innocent as a child or a visitor on a virgin visit.
I remember years ago, hanging out with friends in social situations. The group would disperse, and someone would be with me and say, "Did you notice how ___ X was?" And I would sheepishly reply, "No". I hadn't noticed anything. To me the person was just being their own unique self, doing what they do. I wasn't pigeonholing them into some history of annoying habits, nor was I putting them into a history of good habits.
It's a difficult state to maintain. We tend to repeat experiences and the more we repeat, the more we think we know. The mind likes to accumulate bits of "knowledge". The mind is a gift when we master it, but a ball and chain when it masters us.
Take something like sex. Years ago, when I first came out, I was just so amazed that I could be having sex with some beautiful man. It took my breath away. I didn't know what I liked historically because I had no history. I could only say what felt good and what didn't in the present moment. Now I have a history. Now I have a range of experience. My mind can invade the present with labels, probabilities, expectations, mental constructions of what I think I want. It can start a dialogue, well more like a monalogue, like a baseball commentator.
The process can happen with anything, whether sex, painting, doing Reiki, touching God(dess). The more we do it, the more we tend to think about it. This is where the practice of awareness can come in... we can take our awareness of the present and choose a different path. We can choose to focus on the energy sensations of Reiki, or our breath, rather than focusing on the thoughts. We can choose to just be that witness, rather than identify with our thoughts or emotions. With practice we can become clueless.
That is one thing I have always enjoyed about Reiki. You can just focus on the energy. You don't have to analyze it. Just follow the flow. The mind strives for control. It wants to know why, what's wrong, facts, figures, concepts. But the Reiki just is, if we let it be.
I remember doing Reiki on a lover of mine. There was lots of energy flow around his abdomen. I thought that was a good thing... the more flow, the more healing, the more better. My friend had some training in Reiki. He'd been doing sex work, getting penetrated was his "thing", but he'd been feeling some imbalance in his belly. When we finished the session, he said, "Did you feel that?" "What?", I replied. "All that energy around my belly?" "Oh, that, yeah, I guess so, now that you mention it." "You know what that means don't you?" "ummmm what?" I asked. "That my belly is really messed up!" he exclaimed. I told him I didn't see it that way at all. I didn't place that judgment on the session or him. The important thing was how he felt after the session, if he was pain free now. If there was that much energy flowing, I would say the imbalance was healed.
Sometimes I resist even giving any form of metaphysical diagnosis. Diagnosis can serve a purpose in quieting the mind that wants to know the "why" of a dis-ease. A diagnosis only serves when it can be released. Most of the time I attract clients that understand this. A few times I haven't. In particular I remember doing group healings years ago in New Mexico. I would work on a group of 20 or so at a time, going through the standard Intuitive Energy Medicine protocol. It included a muscle testing assessment to determine what was out of balance on each person, and then the energy work to balance all the conditions. I would do the assessments, record them for each person. After the session, I would burn the papers for confidentiality purposes, and also symbolically transmute the imbalances. In those groups, there would always be a couple of people who wanted to save their assessment to know what was wrong with them. It would take me several minutes to explain, that the purpose of the session was to let go of those patterns, that my intention was that they had no reason to remember them because they were going to BE in a new way.
My advice to healers is if you can't heal it, don't diagnose it... I suppose there is a caveat if you know of someone to refer the client to.
I'm digressing a bit.
Thoughts come and go; paradigms come and go; analyses get proven and disproven; preferences change; impermanence abounds. The constant is that part of you that witnesses. Ground that witness in unconditional love. Let the rest go, or even keep it, just don't identify with it.
Yes, be Present and True to yourself... focus on the present energy and what feels good, what you would like the next moment to look like, based on the present moment. Keep it moment to moment. Keep it to your highest intentions. Listen as much as you "talk". Listen to the energy of your higher self. By Clueless, I don't mean unaware. I mean unencumbered by the Past, and the Future. I mean empty of all stories but Unconditional Love, Joy, Abundance, and Empowerment. Be simple. Focus on the warm glow within.
Breathe. Observe as a child. Enjoy the experience. Be Clueless and Present.
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