Clueless and Present

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my sister and inquired how my young nephew was doing. He tends to be lost in his own world. "Well, he's present, but clueless." she replied. We laughed. I said, "Well, that's a pretty good way to BE!" Some of us in my family, including myself, are noted for their worry, overthinking, and indecisiveness at times.

I've oft thought in recent years how wonderful it is to be naive, innocent, clueless. To be Present to what is going on, without the judgments of interpetation, labeling, and analysis, that create separation and duality. To know someone just as they are without labels of overweight, overly dramatic, and that person that did X to me six months ago. To be fresh and innocent as a child or a visitor on a virgin visit.

I remember years ago, hanging out with friends in social situations. The group would disperse, and someone would be with me and say, "Did you notice how ___ X was?" And I would sheepishly reply, "No". I hadn't noticed anything. To me the person was just being their own unique self, doing what they do. I wasn't pigeonholing them into some history of annoying habits, nor was I putting them into a history of good habits.

It's a difficult state to maintain. We tend to repeat experiences and the more we repeat, the more we think we know. The mind likes to accumulate bits of "knowledge". The mind is a gift when we master it, but a ball and chain when it masters us.

Take something like sex. Years ago, when I first came out, I was just so amazed that I could be having sex with some beautiful man. It took my breath away. I didn't know what I liked historically because I had no history. I could only say what felt good and what didn't in the present moment. Now I have a history. Now I have a range of experience. My mind can invade the present with labels, probabilities, expectations, mental constructions of what I think I want. It can start a dialogue, well more like a monalogue, like a baseball commentator.

The process can happen with anything, whether sex, painting, doing Reiki, touching God(dess). The more we do it, the more we tend to think about it. This is where the practice of awareness can come in... we can take our awareness of the present and choose a different path. We can choose to focus on the energy sensations of Reiki, or our breath, rather than focusing on the thoughts. We can choose to just be that witness, rather than identify with our thoughts or emotions. With practice we can become clueless.

That is one thing I have always enjoyed about Reiki. You can just focus on the energy. You don't have to analyze it. Just follow the flow. The mind strives for control. It wants to know why, what's wrong, facts, figures, concepts. But the Reiki just is, if we let it be.

I remember doing Reiki on a lover of mine. There was lots of energy flow around his abdomen. I thought that was a good thing... the more flow, the more healing, the more better. My friend had some training in Reiki. He'd been doing sex work, getting penetrated was his "thing", but he'd been feeling some imbalance in his belly. When we finished the session, he said, "Did you feel that?" "What?", I replied. "All that energy around my belly?" "Oh, that, yeah, I guess so, now that you mention it." "You know what that means don't you?" "ummmm what?" I asked. "That my belly is really messed up!" he exclaimed. I told him I didn't see it that way at all. I didn't place that judgment on the session or him. The important thing was how he felt after the session, if he was pain free now. If there was that much energy flowing, I would say the imbalance was healed.

Sometimes I resist even giving any form of metaphysical diagnosis. Diagnosis can serve a purpose in quieting the mind that wants to know the "why" of a dis-ease. A diagnosis only serves when it can be released. Most of the time I attract clients that understand this. A few times I haven't. In particular I remember doing group healings years ago in New Mexico. I would work on a group of 20 or so at a time, going through the standard Intuitive Energy Medicine protocol. It included a muscle testing assessment to determine what was out of balance on each person, and then the energy work to balance all the conditions. I would do the assessments, record them for each person. After the session, I would burn the papers for confidentiality purposes, and also symbolically transmute the imbalances. In those groups, there would always be a couple of people who wanted to save their assessment to know what was wrong with them. It would take me several minutes to explain, that the purpose of the session was to let go of those patterns, that my intention was that they had no reason to remember them because they were going to BE in a new way.

My advice to healers is if you can't heal it, don't diagnose it... I suppose there is a caveat if you know of someone to refer the client to.

I'm digressing a bit.

Thoughts come and go; paradigms come and go; analyses get proven and disproven; preferences change; impermanence abounds. The constant is that part of you that witnesses. Ground that witness in unconditional love. Let the rest go, or even keep it, just don't identify with it.

Yes, be Present and True to yourself... focus on the present energy and what feels good, what you would like the next moment to look like, based on the present moment. Keep it moment to moment. Keep it to your highest intentions. Listen as much as you "talk". Listen to the energy of your higher self. By Clueless, I don't mean unaware. I mean unencumbered by the Past, and the Future. I mean empty of all stories but Unconditional Love, Joy, Abundance, and Empowerment. Be simple. Focus on the warm glow within.

Breathe. Observe as a child. Enjoy the experience. Be Clueless and Present.

Dharma Talk: A Question about Surrender

Question:

Life is such a tango isn't it?! i want to surrender to it, i feel like I'm ready to let go a bit more. All i want is to be of use to the universe, and get myself out of the way so that it can sing through me!


Answer:

I have been working on that surrender thing myself.

You are of most use to the Universe when you are in your Joy, meaning that you are just as Divinely of Service to the Universe whether you are teaching yoga or taking a nap. It's as much about being in flow with your unique self.

There is a bit of dichotomy in the process as well, for a truly enlightened person will be at peace wherever they are, and yet also realize that honoring themselves is part of the process. So you don't need to be any sort of martyr to provide selfless service, and yet if you find yourself in a matyr-like position, you might as well enjoy it. This is where Empowerment comes in... finding your power in the moment and making a conscious choice both in the present moment and in your intention for the next moment. For instance, if you were suddenly feeling like a matyr in taking care os someone, you might decide to continue to and chanel the infinite energy of the universe, or you might choose to ask for a replacment to take over.

And its all about whatever story you put to It. If you are practicing surrender, you need to be acutely aware of what you are surrendering to. For us intentionalists, it can be messy to bridge into the reality of surrender. For example I try to live that the universe will provide me with perfect lovers, adventures, abundance, and I have some preconceived intentions/ideas about what those are. If I remember that I am choosing the reality of the Universe just automatically providing the best for me, then I can make out alright. But if I am thinking such things as I get given crappy lovers when I travel, or perhaps feel like my mission in the moment is to paint a painting and why is a lover being thrown in my face... then I may be continually second guessing/not accepting what the universe is offering me when I surrender.

In Indian philosophy, there is bhakti and jnana. Bhakti is "thy wish"... total devotion to all, and jnana is "my wish", total intention and empowerment. Both paths are valid, it's just knowing which one you are on.

To sum up, listen to what glows, follow it in complete trust. Reaffirm your intentions/reality. Practice non-attachment, for it is a big thing to truly surrender to your highest self. Practice Unconditional Love.

And Finally, the short and sweet I've been waiting for:

Use your "vision"... that of the universe singing through you... create that into an affirmation, because the vision integrates all the little details:

The Universe sings through me as I sing and dance my highest spirit through life.
I sing, I dance, I am.
Each moment I am Present
I sing, I dance, I am
Each step I take is aligned with my Highest Spirit
I sing, I dance, I am
I honor the Universe in all that I do
I sing, I dance, I am
The Universe honors me and supports me unconditionally
I sing, I dance, I am
My life is a song and beautiful dance
I sing, I dance, I am


...

try it... tweak it... make the affirmation work for you... repeat often, at least once a day, and see where it leads you....

Blessings
DhamiBoo




I find a practice such as Reiki helps because if you simply focus on the Reiki energy, then you are pretty much "there".

The Intention of Enlightenment

I wish I could remember all my intentions, but I can't. Vague memories float by. Before I got to Tennessee I set my intentions for my time there. The most important was to regain my center. To regain my full power and empowerment in all my magic.

One day during the gathering there, I offered a "Soul Empowerment Blessing" in which I did an energywork ritual for the participants' healing on all levels, enlightenment, and complete immersion in Unconditional Love, Joy, Empowerment, and Abundance. I, of course, set the intention for myself to receive the same benefits I offered for the participants.

My goal was to get away a bit from limiting intentions and just set the intention that all who came into the circle received this complete blessing.

As we walked into the woods in silence towards the ritual space, I led us in circles around some fire pits on the path. I tangibly felt the energy shift as we spiraled out of our pasts, calling our spirits back completely to the present in complete forgiveness.

The following days I felt some vibrational high points... bursts of energy awareness and spontaneous joy. I continued to work through my judgments and implied separations from the Universal Oneness. I set some more intentions. To be done with my habitual depression patterns, to release my fear based thoughts, to release my judgmental thoughts. At some point I set the intention to be joyful and present every day the rest of my life. At some point I set the intention that everyone I ever worked on with energywork receive similar blessings of "enlightenment" and Unconditional Joy. At some point, I extended that prayer for the world. When I would come across someone that brought up judgment within me, I would counter the thought with a prayer for their enlightenment. At some point, I set the intention to BE the "high" vibration being I had been roaming in India with an Australian, mystical bloke in 2005. We had done some very powerful magic together.

Things seemed to shift slowly at times. Then I got to the airport for my flight to San Francisco. I felt my body buzz with energy and excitement. As I flew seven hours to San Francisco, I consistently felt an overwhelming joy and trust. That was just over a week ago. Every day I have felt such joy, such trust. When my thoughts and habits turn otherwise, I seem to notice and readjust myself.

Time seems to collapse into itself and I feel present with my past as visions of my travels converge into the present. I realize I am the same as I was wandering with the mystical Aussie. In fact, I never really left that path, even though at times I have felt so unempowered and miserable as I whirled in my wanderings.

My first day in San Francisco, I went to the beach with some friends and walked a labyrinth on a cliff above the mighty Pacific. My dear friend suggested we walk barefoot. I stripped off my sandals and felt my tender feet rebel against the little pebbles that dug into my meridians. I laughed at the thought of how I walked barefoot 40 out of 70 miles on a pilgrimage in India. I laughed as I saw my choice to respond with such sensitivity and how that mirrored much of the way I have walked through different cultures and places the last few years. I noted that I might choose to walk more erect and more in my center, rather than reacting so greatly to the stones under my feet.

During this past week, I oft find myself being my usual self with some habit, or judgment. But I catch myself and laugh. I step into the witnessing part of myself. I allow that witness to vibrate in Unconditional Love, Joy, Empowerment, and Abundance, while I watch myself. I see the patterns of creation from my thoughts and habits. How a subtle thought can shift a situation. I witness, I watch, I laugh, I adjust. Layers of judgment and separation peel away.

I've long had this vision of myself as the smiling wanderer, able to find empowerment and joy in all situations. Finally, it seems to be coming true.

I laugh at myself for not intending it sooner, for not intending all these things sooner. It's by no means perfect. I still spiral around different ways of being. But more oft than not, I laugh. More oft than not, I find my Awareness kick in and I make different choices.

I see such beauty in the world. I see such a great opportunity for change ... for transformation ... for the world to step into economic stability and all that that implies.... sustainability. I pray to the faces I see drift by me in this walk we call life, and I pray for them. As I pray for myself. As I pray for you.

Musings of September 2008

Greeting Fabulous Being!

I hope and trust you are well in these amazing times. Sending you a blast of Love, Light, and Well Wishes!

I will be arriving in San Francisco on Oct 21, and available there for sessions and trainings for the following 1 - 2 months. Please contact me if you would like to schedule an appointment/create a class. Please note that I will be unavailable by phone or email from Sept27-Oct21.

I am currently in Delaware having spent the past 10 months engaged in family issues; I had returned from 8 months in India and Thailand last November.


MUSINGS:

World Changes.

We are at a great opportunity for change and transformation in the world. The economic and political instabilities indicate this. I find it interesting that the economy mirrors the price of oil, and this is a great opportunity for us and our leaders to secure stability through sustainability. An energy plan based on conservation and sustainable resources such as wind would stabilize us in a flash. Urging ourselves and our leaders that we are ready for this would be an excellent start. I applaud Isreal for taking steps to become independent of oil. If each bioregion/country would do this, the world would become so much more stable.

It can be scary at times when we flounder in our individual consciousness and collective consciousness. Never has it been any more important to meditate and focus on intention rather than fear.

I think many of us, myself included, have been parsing through our consciousness as we detox mental and emotional patterns that no longer serve us. Are we really ready to choose our fully empowered BEING? Personally I have been dabbling in reverting to old versions of myself... the old familiarity of my younger years... easy enough to do when visiting family. I've oft resented my aloneness and uniqueness in my blood family particularly, as well as in the world. The way to harvest this is to share my unique gifts with the world. To break through judgements that shackle us to the freedom of BEING and sharing the full power of our BEING from the inside out.

It's such a moment to moment awareness and choice. Last Spring I was reading Thich Naht Han to my Aunt and found the most wonderful passage that said when conditions are right, things manifest. I immediatly thought of my vagabond travels and the seeming scarcity of lovers that have manifested during the past few years of travel. My idea was to step into the abundance of complete trust, that whatever I need/desire would manifest, whether Reiki clients, money, food, lovers, etc. What I have found, is that these things do indeed manifest, but not entirely magically. I have to be OPEN to them. If I am not loving of myself, and sexual of myself, then a lover is not going to manifest.

Intention takes faith, trust, clarity, and non-attachment. If we are attached to the opposing fear, then the manifestation is compromised. This doesn't mean that we are always free of fear. I remember being bitten in the dark by a venemous insect. I could feel the venom. I trembled in fear. But I had the clarity to control my thoughts, and remember to ask any toxins in my body to turn to light. I sent the unseen insect love and suggested that it could go elsewhere. I calmed myself down a bit by these thoughts. I drifted back towards sleep, when I felt a bite further up my leg. I repeated my thought process. A while later, I had to go through the process a third time. In the morning I had only a small red mark on my leg.

I have found the past couple years that my "negative" and "fear based" thoughts have risen to my consciousness... A LOT! It's been frustrating. Things I never particularly thought of in my life seem to ravage my mind. I was hiking last week and I found myself thinking how I could possibly fall on a rock and crack my head open. My head seemed rampant with fears. I came back to my intention to live healthily and actively until the day I die in my nineties. I came back to my intention to get through my hike healthily and safely. I did.

The next day I was visiting a friend and he tossed a book at me. It was Rolling Thunder by Don Boyd. I opened up to a page that talked about consciousness and thoughts. It said, our thoughts are just like food upon a table. We can choose what we think just as we choose what we eat. Further it said, we can simply say "I don't wish to have these thoughts, and I ask them to go away." Gradually, the negative thoughts will dissappear completely.

HAH! I thought and laughed at myself. I'd been moaning and complaining about my negative thoughts the past few years. I'd set some intentions to be free of them, but more often had wondered "why". Why was I having them? What was wrong with me. My friend suggested that this may even be a reflection of global consciousness, that perhaps I was picking up on. I laughed and noted how when in the mountains of primarily Buddhist culture, I find myself humming Buddhist style, while last week in the Catskills I found myself humming Christian tunes.

I realized that in my approach to the negative thoughts, I was wondering too much about "why", rather than just choosing to be done with them. "When conditions are right, things manifest." I've often noticed the same pattern with other forms of dis-ease. If I have a sore, and I think about controlling infection, then I've already given in the "battle"... relative to thinking... "oh, my body is detoxing".

In my travels the past few weeks I have experienced both and Amish community and another Christian community. I found myself seeing a sparkle in their eyes that I thinks from connection to the land, and an integrated code to live by.... conscious empowered choice. It doesn't matter so much what you believe or how you choose to live, but whether you know the code you are living by, and remember the code. Certainly, different beliefs and thoughts will create different experiences. Trusting fully in God to provide for you through magic and miracles would be different than setting intentions based on heartfelt desires. Believing that one has to work and that work is stressfull, would be different that believing that work is enjoyable and fun and gives one abundance and purpose. As I read many years ago, the shaman is aware of what reality that he/she chooses in a given moment, and also aware that he/she can choose a different reality in the next moment. So one could choose to see cold symptoms as an infection, a sign of detox, simply a pattern of being, or a welcome excuse to take a break. And one could make a different choice the next day when dealing with different symptoms.

A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law reminded me that we are Spiritual Beings choosing to have a Physical Experience. I had recently read Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, the story of a young man who steadfastly lives by his code and dies alone in the Alaskan wilderness. Some people say, "what a loss...think of what he could have done if he had lived." I say, look at what he did do... the amazing experiences he did have. Would you rather live ninety years in a chair, safe and sound, or climb the highest mountains in the world? Not that there is anything wrong with sitting in a chair... I do so myself, often... it's the consciousness to which you bring to it. What is your gift, your passion, your excitement in life? What would you like to experience while you are in this particular lifetime?

I wonder these things for myself. I find myself floating in a sea in possibility as I roam nomadically about. It can be a hard path because I have strived to be free of identity... to be empty... and yet if I am too empty, I get filled up by someone else's desires... and yet even that is a choice by me to be that empty and that available.

I look forward to seeing you in my wanderings about this Earth. I urge you to take a breath, feel your Connection, be aware of and choose your thoughts, eat what you love, do what you love... in fact whatever you do, do it out of love... and hug a tree once in a while!

Blessings,
DhamiBoo RTurnbull
reikiem@onebox.com - email
(484) 832-8822 - cell/vm
http://www.dhamiboo.com/

"One should never never doubt what nobody is sure about!"
--Willy Wonka

Astral Travel or is it asstral?

For weeks I have attempted to meet one of my lovers through astral travel. He has tried to come here. We have tried to meet on the astral plane with the intention of having sex in the astral plane. All with limited success... well... limited in the sense that it's easy to have expectations of experiencing astral travel and visitations as the most vivid dreams possible... or even to expect them to be as visceral as what we consider reality.

The first time we tried, my friend "saw" me offering my life to him as a book. My experience was simply a feeling of sexual excitement, and the thought that perhaps it was my friend. When he told me of his experience of seeing my give him the book of my life, I thought of my belief that through orgasm together, partners exchange spiritual gifts and wisdom in the flash of an instant. How an orgasm can catalyze great healing and changes. For several days after every time my friend lay down to sleep and astral travel, he felt a glow of unconditional love and joy pervade his body. In the following weeks, it became apparent that I was to teach and attune him to Reiki. In fact, when he read my Reiki manual, he realized that that was the book he had seen in his "dream". Through the weeks our experiences in astral travel seemed more like subtle thoughts, feelings, and dreams.

Then last week, I had the sense during the day that I was participating in spirit... from afar... with a erotic ritual taking place several hundred miles away. An event I wished to be at in person, but was called instead to be with family.

I went to sleep and in the middle of the night, I had a dream. I was in a sports field of some sort. There was a "team" of girls planting some marble like things in the field. I also had a collection of white objects that I dumped from a cloth, drawstring bag. The objects were white and the size of marbles mostly with a few the size of ping pong balls. I'm not sure what they were made of. Looking back, I'd say they were polished stones. But in the dream, I remember being concerned about polluting the ground with them... or littering the ground. I was to bury them just under the sod. They were sacred. It was some sort of ritual.

I set upon my hands and knees. I felt the loving hands of a man push me down flat upon my stomach. I felt comforted as my unseen lover embraced me and lay down on top of me. I awoke from my dream and felt the same strong sense of being pushed down and embraced. It was a strong feeling. More than just a sense or awareness. It felt nearly real. My lover entered me. We made love. The feelings became less visceral. My mind tried to identify my lover. Was he from the erotic ritual? Was he my friend that I'd been trying to connect with on the astral plane for weeks? Perhaps, both? Astral dimensions allow several realities to happen concurrently. I haven't checked in with either parties yet.

I am so grateful to have such a visceral experience. I prayed to have my power of vision strengthened and my astral awareness increased. It is happening!

God Needs a Little Help... from a dream...

Last week I dreamed I was flying amongst the trees. Flying dreams always exhilarate me. I zoomed around. I found some friends on the ground and showed them how to fly with me. We soared the blue skies amongst the clouds and landed in the high branches of a tree. My friends giggled with delight at their new found sport. Meanwhile I stopped, and became overcome with fear, gripping the branch with my back towards the ground. I looked over my shoulder at the long distance to the ground. I shook with fear. Next thing I knew, I heard God speaking to me, saying "even God needs a little help. I can't do it all."

I knew that it was up to me to let go of the branch and fly. To let go and trust. I had to make a choice. I had to be clear in my mind.

And so it is with life. Only we can decide how we are going to see the world and thereby choose our reality. Are we going to be optimists or pessimists? Are we going to frame our current condition in scarcity or abundance?

Months ago I heard of a family whose house burned in a fire. A week after, the Mother of the family wrote in an email how it was such a wonderful opportunity... the house that had burned hadn't really been suiting them, and their new home was going to be much more appropriate. She was helping God by consciously choosing how she was going to interpret her reality.

I look at my own life. I've been drifting a lot the last couple of years. Surrendering a lot. Making less and less choices, leaving it "up to God" or rather "my highest Spirit". And yet at the same time I have spent a lot of time in worry, or second guessing. If I am going to surrender, I need to remember to affirm that there is perfection in what I am being given. I could also be more deliberate, and more intentional, in taking a firm hand in co-creation. I could even balance the two extremes and do one way in one situation and a different in another. But I need to remember my choice. I need to frame my reality. It does no good to surrender to "God" then "blame" myself or "God" when things don't work out the way I expected.

So, remember that "God" needs help. If you are trusting in God's will, then remember to remind yourself that there is perfection, and be grateful for your experiences. If you are being more intentional, remember that you are an "arm of God" in your Will... trust in that perfection. As your worries, concerns, and "monkey mind" thoughts arise, remember what reality you are choosing... reframe those thoughts. Re-affirm your chosen reality.

The Thin Line to Empowerment and Unconditional Love

The days turn into weeks as I live a life of seva in the Butternut Valley of NY. Mundane, terribly mundane, and yet the mystical is there most daily as I pick up the slack left by my deceased Uncle in visiting my Aunt who lays quite debilitated by Alzheimers in a nursing home.

Most every day that I drive the rolling hills to town to see my Dear Aunt, I am struck by subtle visions of power animals and the like. It's hard seeing her and the nursing home full of people that seem to be suffering... or rather seem to be lacking in enjoyment of their incarnation on life. It's easiest when I can be in a place of Unconditional Love and Empowerment, trusting that they have choices spiritually... that their existence is Divine in spite of the seeming suffering that my ego perceives.

It's hard for me to remember the reality of Empowerment. I find myself oft in judgment rather than acceptance and non-attachment, though I do have my breakthroughs. It's best when I remember to channel Reiki. One day I sat with my Aunt and happened to think to hold my stone from Ghandi Tal against her gnarled hand. This is the stone that vibrated me out of the reality of cold symptoms and knee pain into remembering that I could indeed shift my energy field and reality into one of health and full function of my knees. As I held the stone against her hand, her eyes brightened. I think she felt it.

It's difficult to break the shackles of judgment. To refrain from imposing the concept that the residents in the nursing home are stuck, miserable, and suffering. To try to think that they have the power to heal, the power to choose, the power to leave their earthly realm when they wish. And yet, I know as a healer, that that is the best space I can try to hold for them and myself. To remember that I can step outside my judgments and beam unconditional love towards them. That I can choose to be in a place of joy, and try to shed that light upon them. Instead of walking through the hallways of invalids, eyes downcast in saddness, I can validate their presence with eye contact and smiles. Sharing my trust in God with them. Sharing my belief that they can be healthy and whole with them. For if I choose the former reality, then we are all stuck in it... most of all... me..... and if I choose the latter reality, then I move myself into it, and carry others with me.