There's Really Only One Thing to Do

So simple, so hard. So simple to remember. To take a breath. To ask yourself to be Present. To channel Unconditional Love. To be completely one with your Spirit and Body and all of your Dimensions. To connect. If you are attuned to Reiki, you simply tune in to the Reiki energy that is all around you.

Then you just follow the flows. Set some intentions. Follow the flows.

The mind wants to chatter. The ego wants to find fear and/or separation. And yet if you just take a moment and ask, it will all shift in a flash.

I've been listening to some Sikh chants that help attune us and clear out our blocks. I got an mp3 player and I listen to them over and over. And I feel them working me, working through me, aligning me. It's just one gimmic, one placebo, to catalyze the Oneness. Breath. Any number of actions from running to yoga, to looking at flowers, to sex, to meditation, to .... could do the same. Allow us to forget our separation and remember our wholeness.

No, it's not about giving up your uniqueness, or your passions, but rather in being whole with them. It's realizing that what you have and what you do may catalyze this state of Being, but they are catalysts, and really all we have to do is Remember to BE.

Yes, there is much unlearning to do with our stories of life. Work must be stressful, such and such must be hard, I only deserve to feel good if.... Conditions. Stories. Myths. Choose better stories. If you are going to work 40 hours a week at something, ask yourself to be relaxed and have fun at it. Why intend and perpetuate a story of stress about something you are intending to do for a large part of your life? Relationships, home, accounts. Ditto. Yes, things may be challenging, and yet if we apply the parable of the optimist and pessimist walking down the same street and having different experiences to the infinite thoughts/prayers/intentions both conscious and unconscious in our lives... we can shift our experience of Life. Attitude is everything.

I look at myself. I have nothing to do really. I mean I am trying to just trust that abundance will flow in all things in my life. I have no bills except a few hundred for a website. I am finding that pretty much clients so up without me working at it... as I have intended. I haven't quite given up on the website/email "advertising" yet. Yet I know that just as I asked for a Reiki student and met one serendipitously on a hike in Rajasthan, so I don't really have to do the computer annoucement self promotion thing. Yet I do. So it takes a little time. I want to and intend a camera. So what do I do. Patterns of perfectionism and lack of trust of salespeople. Instead of walking through life and popping into a store and finding what glows... I fall back into the I have to research and find the perfect cheap camera. Scarcity. Pefectionism. Mistrust. Mental effort. All these stories seep into my way of being. Now there is nothing wrong with any way of Being. There is nothing wrong with consumer research for instance. It is a matter of choosing to Be in a way that brings joy.

It's subtle. Well, sometimes, not so subtle. Several weeks ago I prayed and received Reiki and acupuncture to achieve clarity, courage, flow, action, relaxed trip preparations. And what happened? Well I felt great after the sessions. For the first hours or maybe day or two, I kept myself from the "thinking about" and "poor time management" patterns. Then after a few days, I slipped into computer addictive behaviors, thought and figuring out addictive behaviors... perfectionism, scarcity.

And I realize it's just a matter of constant awareness. I mean I could throw out the computer, and just have all things come to me in my walkabouts. And yet, I like the computer. The email. The ways to distribute information, to keep connected with people. And so it's a matter of going into the process with awareness. Feeling when the vibration drops. Is my thought pattern changing? Is it time to take a break? Is it time to re-prioritize?

It's easy in the sense that we all know joy... right? we all know how it feels to relax? And so we all know when we aren't feeling that. If we would just take a moment to realize... oh, I'm not enjoying this way that I am being. How can I change it?

Oh, it's tricky and yet easy. Both allowing and accepting, and yet some firm intention of how to BE with it all. Like the martial arts master who always saw his opponents as dance partners and greeted the process with a smile. That allowed him some detachment and relaxation that would not have been there if he saw it as a battle. Plus a dance reeks of trust and confidence rather than fear... for when we go to a dance we rather assume we will live!

So I resolve to remember. To try to trust that decisions will be clearly made at the right time. To remember that whatever I do will be Perfect. To be self aware, and change my attitude towards those things I cannot change, and of course to remember what I have the power to change.

And so there is really only one thing for you and for me to do right now... take a breath, Join the Flow. BE Whole. BE One. Connect.

I pray that you are in the Flow right now!

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SAN FRANCISCO MUSINGS: FEB 2007

MUSING #1: IT'S ALL YOU BABY!

I lay on the floor, half out of my body. I was at a spiritual dance ceremony, dancing around the tree of life for renewal and my prayers. I'd danced this dance before. In the past I the dances I attended were outside in Oregon. Here I was near NYC in a gymnasium. It wasn't an easy dance. Everything was different. I found myself bitching internally about this or that. As I danced I felt myself going a little out of my body. But I'd get close to totally falling into Spirit and then something would bring me back. I was wondering if the dance was really going to work. Would it get me out of the low self esteem funk and depression I'd been suffering... feeling lost in the world? You see it's hard to totally let go of all your roots and identity... to travel itinerantly in the world to learn unattachment and trust in abundance.

In the circle of the Dance, I stepped round and round, feeling like maybe it wasn't going to work this time. Usually, when I danced this Dance in the past, I would be way out in the realms of Spirit as soon as I got to the site. I tried to let go of my fear of failure, and I prayed that somehow it would all work for me... that my prayers to be centered, ground, in alignment with my highest Spirit in Unconditional Love, Joy, Abundance, and Fun would be answered.

Suddenly, a Shaman's face was in mine. A rattle shaked. An Eagle feather pulled me into a heap on the floor. And there I was in an all to familiar way. Laying half out of my body, but not feeling quite like I was really going out far enough to get the message, the healing. I waited for the Shaman to work on me. He didn't. I remembered he'd just had back surgery. "Uggh!", I thought as he was a really powerful for me in the past. I thought maybe nothing would really move for me. Then another Shaman came up to work on me. This one worked more with words. He was good, but I doubted whether he could really move things for me. I had a thought one of the two young men I'd met in my travels the past two years. Two particular guys, magicians, shamans, who could shake me out to my highest realms. As the second Shaman murmured words to me, asking the spirit that was in me to help me, give me a message, I realized that just as a healing or a drug experiences open us up sometimes, and yet we don't need to rely on them, because once we've experienced a way of being, we could will ourselves back to that way of being.... so could I will myself to that space that my two young men had taken me to. I remember that the Shaman, the healer doesn't do anything to us or for, otherwise we would all be happy and healthy right now, as countless monks, lay people, samaritans, and well wishers have certainly wished for us. I know I pray for people as I pass them on the street. I pray for my clients and friends, and yet sometimes they still do not seem to heal. I remembered that healers merely hold space for us to heal ourselves and offer us a ritual by which to do so.

And so I remembered that power for myself. I came up on my hands and knees and gave a whoop and a deep cough to shake off the old unwanted pattern of being... and to feel reborn like I had in the past. Once, twice, three times, I whooped and coughed and came into a laughing ecstatic state!

And I remembered. Just as I hold space for people to remember and heal themselves while I hold space... I remembered my own power to heal myself. In a new way of course. And in the coming days, as I found myself emotionally "down", I would remember to realize I had a choice, and I'd whoop and cough and jump myself into a joyful ecstatic state! That vibration we call Reiki, or Unconditional Love, or God, or Goddess is always there. It is we who choose to be separate.

May you remember your power, and empowerment to vibrate at One with your highest Spirit and feel the vibration of Love and Joy that is in the very air we breath, the rocks we trod on, the blades of grass poking through the side walk!

MUSING #2: BREAKTHROUGH THINKING

In January, I fasted in Key West and read Deepak Chopra's Perfect Health. Definitely a good read. In it, Chopra talks of "Breakthrough Thinking", oddly enough a corporate term. The idea is to let go of limited thinking and hold space for amazing productivity. I realized that has always been my policy with Reiki. My first month of doing Reiki, I worked on a housemate for twenty minutes to help his headache. I laid my hands on him, maybe rubbed his head a little. His headache went away. "Wow, I thought. If I can do 'this little', and someone's headache can go away. What's cancer? AIDS? just a few hours more of doing nothing but laying my hands on someone?" I realized that the simple experience of witnessing laying of hands catalyze someone's healing themselves, relaxing, feeling better, etc, through everything I thought I knew about reality out the window. And so when I would see client's, i would alway hold the intention for miraculous healing. I knew that Reiki always went to highest good, and why wouldn't it be somebody's highest good to be healthy in the human form? Yes, I know there are stories and thereby realities of secondary gains to illnesses sometimes, and people talk of karma. But what if all that were just forgiven in the flash of an instant? in the flash of intention?

It's all just stories we have about how we choose to view what we call reality. Optimists see glasses half full. Pessimists see them half empty. There are endless overlaps of what we see because of the endless thoughts that go through our head.

People told me I had "strong Reiki hands". Once a Reiki Master happened into my treatment room at a free clinic. I asked her intention for her session. She wanted to work on chronic neck pain. I said, "So your intention is to release the pattern creating the neck pain, and take on the pattern of complete alignment, flexibility, strength, mobility, and comfort in your back and neck?" She said, "Oh, I've had this condition for years, and I've done Reiki for years, and I know we couldn't do that much in just one session." I said, "Humour me; we can always ask." She did. We did. I did my five minutes of hand waving in her aura, and laying of hands while she sat in the chair in the tiny tiny room that was my treatment room at the clinic. After I thought we were done, I asked her how she felt and if there was any pain or tension anywhere. She exclaimed, "The pain is gone!" I replied that I had hoped as much. I ran into her two weeks later at an event and she said the pain still hadn't returned.

And so I always tell my students to hold space for the best imagined or better. Then at least we aren't limiting our consciousness and thereby limiting reality.

And as I read Chopra's book, I realized that this was "breakthrough thinking". And I wondered how often we limit ourselves in our lives because of limited thoughts. How often do we think either/or instead of both? How often do we think we can't when we could try and perhaps we could? How often do we project a task to be hard instead of affirming ease? I read an interesting breakthrough thought the other day on Steve Pavlina's website http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/ where Steve suggests that many people think they can earn money only per hour of work, instead of having money flow in 24/7!

MUSING #3: A CASTANADA EXPERIENCE

Tired in Palm Springs, I nodded off on a couch in front of a guy I just met. Our mutual friend sat beside me. I went into a dream state. Deeply in. So deep it felt real. Then I awoke, and was a bit shocked to realize where I was. I murmured "Wow, I was way out in some dreams." The Guy said, "where'd you go?" I couldn't remember. He said it was ok. I would. I left with my friend who'd been sitting beside me. I was high on Spirit. The world looked different. I felt very aligned and in touch with the Earth energies as we drove off to the magical Joshua Tree. I said as much to my friend. He said he'd tranced out on the couch too, and was feeling similar feelings. I asked him if The Guy had training in shamanism. My friend said he thought he might. Whatever catalyzed the magic that jump started us into a state of awareness, we enjoyed a magical powerful night on the desert at Joshua Tree.

MUSING #4: WHITE TANTRA(tm)

At the Dance, I had prayed for guidance about what to do for the Winter. I met a beautiful, glowing woman who mentioned something about going to a solstice yoga retreat in Florida. Her comment glowed to me. I knew I had to go, or at least investigate it. I looked at the Happy, Holy, Healthy Organization website (www.3ho.org). I'd been warned by my friend that it would look strange, but that there was a strong crowd of hippie nomads and kewl folks there. the ritual had been offered to the hippies as a way to get the "high" without drugs. Once I worked out of my familial Christmas obligations, I got myself to Florida for this amazing event started by Yogi Bhajan in the late 1960's.

The White Tantra(tm) helps clear out our blocks and align us fully with our authentic souls or self or highest spirit. It our our kundalini. I found the retreat amazing in helping be get back into my center, and reconnect with my spirit. I wouldn't say it took me to a new space, but it provided a different vehicle for getting there. In the past, willpower, sex, Reiki, energywork, excercise, nature, deep connections, etc. have all had their way of arising my kundalini.

I really like the intent of the Retreat, the White Tantra, and the Kundalini... to align us fully with our souls, dissolve our blocks, and get us healthy and into prosperity.

I definitely recommend the 3ho.org events.

MUSING #5: JUST ASK

I was on the train, on my way to San Francisco. Tired. Sleepy. Five days in Death Valley. In the last 4 months, I had not been in one place more than 3 weeks, and most of the time less than that. Hard to keep centered, moving around so much. And hard to keep centered when you are always visiting with people. When I get tired, I start wondering whether it is time to settle down for a bit. It's the old trap of taking the present moment and projecting it onto the entire future. I remember escorting, and when I was tired, I would think "poor me selling my body". Then I'd remember I'd chosen the profession joyfully. And I could stop. And I'd realize, I was just tired and needed to go home to sleep.

So there I was on the train to San Francisco. My pendulum attuned to my Spirit and Intuition had led me there. Though I'd thought about trying to stay in Palm Springs a while. I'd thoroughly enjoyed the wilderness of Joshua Tree and Death Valley. And so I thought, "Why am I going to San Francisco?" And yet, I knew that when I talked of going to Asia, my body would lighten, my heart would tingle. And when I felt that last month in Key West, as I pondered what to do with myself... the plan to head west to San Francisco, and make some money, and head to Asia had hatched. Now I was having second thoughts. Tired, my head was spinning. "Do I want to head off to Asia and be moving around there? I don't know why I am going there other than I feel called to. I like the Nature here in the US. I like being in my own culture. I remember the challenges of travelling in the Second and Third World, in foreign cultures." I began to feel myself sink into a depression. Then I thought to pray. "If my highest good is to go to San Francisco and Asia, let me be at peace with it! May that holey part of me that the clairvoyant said was causing my second guessing, over thinking decision making habit be sealed up! May I move forward in empowered Trust!"

I dozed off. I awoke to beautiful scenery along the river between Martinez and Richmond. I found my heart tingle with excitement. I found myself vibrating in excitement to be back in the amazing San Francisco! My first days were full of that excitement of being kind of in that tourist mindset of seeing the city anew. And yet I was grateful for how I know San Francisco: my friends here, the resources for a queer man, the food, the chance to serve my clients.

And I relearned that old lesson of Asking! When we are not happy, or healthy, we must ask for change. Only then will we have the awareness to see the Universe holding out it loving embrace to help us Be our intentions.

MUSING #6: RETURNING TO REIKI, ONENESS

The last few years I have been learning about shifting reality. And that has taken me down the path of seeing how every thought anchors us to a reality. It can get overwhelming as we have so many thoughts and so many possible realities. In Seth's Eternal Validity of the Soul by Jane Roberts, Seth says that those who believe in good and evil, or demons, will generally have a more unpleasant time than those who believe in a general goodness in the world.

And recently I have been remembering and thereby experiencing what a wonderful story Reiki is. To walk the street and feel energy fluxes that are unconditional love. That I can know that if I feel dis-ease on the emotional, physical, or spiritual level, I can lay my hands on myself and become at ease. I don't have to think about why I have the dis-ease, or what it is. It is just energy. It can move, realign. And I can know that there is no real reason that i ought not feel good. And if I walk the world and see others I can relate to them on this energy flux of Reiki or Unconditional love. That though my mind might create separation with judgements, we are all just patterns of this cosmic energy goo, and I can beam Reiki and receive Reiki at the same time. And that I can just flow my life with it... like one giant intuitive Reiki treatment. I can choose to let my inquisitive mind rest and trust in the flow of Reiki. That it all moves to highest good. That the vibrations I feel are merely flows of energy, neither good nor bad. That it is Divine and knows where to go.

MUSING #7: TRUSTING YOUR DESTINY

This is a Yogi Bhajan story I read about in the Aquarian times. One of the first solstice gatherings was held on private land with some stipulations that got broken by some of the attendees. And so 60 carloads had to move to a new site miles away. Yogi Bhajan played traffic director, waving a cloth as the cars went out the driveway. Sixty carloads passed him. Then he got into a car. And he passed all sixty cars on a narrow two lane road, replete with blind hills and curves, in one fell swoop! He knew his destiny and that it wasn't about dying in a car wreck that day.

This is much like the trust and intention I mentioned before. As some of you know, I've acknowledged Death as the one known in this life. And so I set the intention to die a healthy, mobile, man in my 90's during an orgasm with someone that is kewl with me doing so. When we set intentions and remember them, it allows us to move forward in trust rather than in fear. As we think, so we create.

MUSING 8: STREAMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND STREAMS OF REALITY

The other day as I was walking through San Francisco, remembering the power of a walking meditation.... someplace I read, I think in a Castanada book, that walking was a good way to get us into our power.... I felt the buzz of the Universe, the Reiki, the Kundalini, the Unconditional Love vibration, or whatever you might call it. I remember the feeling as I used to feel it as I walked these streets 8 years ago. No fear, no depression, no nagging mind. Just presence. Maybe a thought drifts through. But more or less presence.

And I remembered how it used to be when I got stoned. And then I'd remember the last time I got stoned. The funny things I did. The great thoughts I had. It's similar to revisiting an old haunt. When you are away, you don't always remember the events of the place, or the names of the people. But when you come back, and block of consciousness comes back.

And I remember Gregg Braden mentioning in the Isiah Effect how we might jump from one state of reality to another. That it can be a large jump. That even as we head to armageddon, if we pray and focus on peace that at the last instant we might jump into that peace, even though it appears not. It's like changing lanes on a highway versus suddenly shapeshifting to a whole other highway.

And I thought of my recent readings of Seth's Eternal Validity of the Soul (by Jane Roberts) where Seth talks of multiple dimensions. There is the one where I send the email. And the one where I don't. The one where I settled down instead of travelling nomadically. It's just we tend to keep our awareness in one, though Seth says that in our dreamstates we visit others.

And I realized so it is as we go from scarcity consciousness to abundance consciousness, or fear to trust based consciousness. Those realities are there all the time. The more we remember to choose the stream we prefer, the more we remember, the more we ARE it, the more it becomes habit to be there. At times I remember the reality of going for a walk when I was short $200 for rent and meeting a Reiki client who happened to prepay for his next Reiki training. And yet I forget and fall in the conditional abundance, or scarcity stream. The more we put our thoughts, intentions, and awareness in the streams that bring us joy, the more we see, and live that reality.

Seth talks about this in Eternal Validity of the Soul and suggests that even our thoughts and projections can spin off into parallel dimensions. So we might as well choose to be aware in the dimension that brings us the most joy. And we might as well transmute our thoughts and projections and judgments about others into the best space possible. Certainly, that's one reason choosing to be in the Reiki awareness as much as possible makes good sense and good fun.

MUSING #9: UNCONDITIONAL JOY

As many of you know I have been challenged in decision making eccessively the last year. What I have been tasting lately is a place of unconditional joy. Not that I've been thoroughly happy or joyful every moment, but on a day to day or week to week basis I have often been tapping into the ecstatic Present state. Usually with every transition from one location to the next I go through a fear and dread of change, an attachment and grief of what I will "lose" when I leave, some shock at the new surroundings, and then an appreciation of the new place. I've been in some quite different places the last months from my parent's suburban home, to my aunt and uncle's country home, from the barren Death Valley to the lush Florida Keys, from the dry desert of Joshua Tree to the crashing waves with surfers at Malibu, from the quiet peace of Joshua Tree to the chaotic throb of San Francisco. And at each place I have reached a place of appreciation and love for the place. Then there are the people, the events, the activities of each place. And I realize what a breakthrough thought or concept it is to be in a place of unconditional love and joy. If we are in a state of bliss in each moment, how do we move through space and time? We are so entrained with the ideas of scarcity, constant improvement, judgment of bad and good, that we often base our decisions and movement through life in those terms. Whereas if we were to be in a place of constant meditation and unconditional love, we would constant be leaving moments we love for the next moment. A solution which I've proposed in the past is to follow "what glows". Forget the drama of having to have some negative reason for leaving... it feels right to continue in the same place or relationship or job or home, or it doesn't. Yes, we can ask for improvements or change in attitude or embellishments, AND we can also listen to our hearts and intuition.

I remember hiking with some friends in Hawaii once. One of them decided to turn back and leave our group. There was conversation, pleading, dramatic judgment, and then gossipy theories about why and what after he left. And I kept thinking and even suggesting, that he, for whatever reason, felt called to turn back and leave us. If we trust Spirit, we can just know that for some reason it is for the best. The rest is story, drama, rationalization. And I realized that people so often unconsciously like drama, and dramatic justification. Sometimes we just don't know or allow ourselves to move on because Spirit is calling us on. Instead we have to find fault or blame or justification.

MUSING #10: NEVER COME BACK

I was at a wonderful demonstration of healing work by Helena Messenger (www.helenamessenger.com) and Gary Robertson last month. And got a new insight on how to look at being totally present in all chakras...something I have called being totally aligned and integrated in all chakras and connected from your Highest Spirit to the Core of the Earth. Helena told of how when she was a little girl her brother beat her with a hammer and she was dead for 45 minutes. In this time she "saw God" and was told she had more to do back here on Earth. At one point she was telling this story to a group of people and a woman said, "Aren't you sad you had to come back [here to Earth]?" And Helena replied, "I never left [God/Heaven]." Helena says we want to be there and here simultaneously. That to be totally present is to be in all dimensions that we visit at once.

It's hard to explain, but I have tasted that feeling. And it makes sense... It is not about denying the lower numbered chakras and the body. But being present to that and God/Spirit/Goddess at the same time as well to the other dimensions..

Breakthrough Thinking

Greetings from Key West where I've been integrating the White Tantic Yoga Retreat I attended on Winter Solstice.

The other day I was reading Deepak Chopra's Perfect Health and learned a term called "Break through Thinking"... which means holding space for far beyond what you think is possible. The term comes from corporate jargon where it is used to hold space for amazing productivity and results so that expectations do not limit production.

I realized that breakthrough thinking is what I've done as a healer. when I first got into Reiki in 1999, I remember working on a roomate who had a headache. I rubbed his head some, but mainly did Reiki. After about 20 minutes, his headache disappeared. I thought to myself, "That throws everything I know about reality upside down. If I can do "virtually nothing" (no physical additives like aspirin or water), and my friend's headache goes away, then what would it take to heal AIDS or cancer? a few hours of Reiki?" The fact that I could feel vibrating energy in my hands and body... sensing the quantum physical basis of this world... and the fact that countless sessions in which I merely laid my hands on people and they physically and emotionally felt better... soon led me to always hold space for instanatneous healing. If someone came in with chronic pain or depression... or any ailment, I held tspace for it to be gone by the end of the session.

I gradually learned that our thoughts navigate us to our perspective of reality. I began to see all the thoughts and therefore attachments we have to our individual realities. I went from the reality of catching colds, to manifesting colds because of metaphysical imbalance, to detosing emotional and physical toxins through my nose, to choosing the reality of having congestion.

I learned that finding the reason for disease is useful to the extent to which it allows us to find a ritual to integrate our intention of healing the disease. But finding a reason for the disease also dictates our healing and sometimes forms an attachment for a disease.

For instance, a stomach/digestion problem might relate to the Third Chakra in one paradigm. So the subject might have to balance their third chakra for their digestion to improve. Sometimes the subject becomes attached to saying "my third chakra is imbalanced". Some would say that we must learn the lessons that our disease is trying to teach us.

I say that that is one reality. To heal, what we have to do is become the reality of being whole and healthy. So we must become the pattern of healthy digestion. If we focus on the goal, not the obstacles, we become healed sooner.

Put another way, the most simple way to heal is to ask ourselves to release the pattern creating the disease and to take on the pattern of health. When we are unified in our thought and belief, it only takes a second, a breath, to go from one reality to the other. But when we are not whole in our belief and thought, we need a more involved ritual... whether that ritual is Reiki, antibiotics, herbs, homeopathics, acupuncture, sexual healing, surgery, etc.

Still others say, we must deal with our karma and past lives. There are countless stories, perspectives, and realities in looking at dis-ease. Marcus Daniels, a gifted healer, once said that basically we can't hand the ecstatic state and we limit ourselves to receiving/vibrating in unconditional love. And I see that often. How often we say, "I'd like to [X], BUT ..." Our stories about Being Here on Earth are similar to our stories about healing: varied. Some people believe they are here to suffer, others to learn, others to evolve.

Our various stories about life and healing give us various realities.

My studies and experience show me more and more that this life is all a dream created by our thoughts and intentions. I've been reading Seth's Eternal Validity of the Soul and find it interesting that Seth says as much. Those that believe in Heaven and Hell get that experience. Those that believe in Good and Evil get it. Seth recommends believing in Good... without it's opposite. I think that is nice! It's all good! [chuckle].

I leave you this blessing:

WHAT IF:
You incarnated on this earth to have fun in the physical form... and do those things that you can do in the physical form.
You serve others and the universe best by being yourself, your authentic soul.
You lived fully empowered knowing that you and/or your highest spirit choose everything in this life and can unchoose and rechoose it.
Everything in this universe was divine and good, even when you don't understand it.
The Universe supported you in whatever your intentions without judgment or conditions...and everything generally worked out for the best.
Every part of your body and every heart desire was Divine.
The Universe provided everything for you abundantly and unconditionally.
You fully loved and accepted yourself and received love unconditionally with acceptance and compassion and mirrored that towards others.
You were truly forgiven/absolved for all your past in this life and others, and karmically forgiven... that you were allowed to BE right now how you would like to BE.
You were able to observe and laugh at life's challenges and remember your ability to create/cocreate the next moment.
You knew that your reality is a pattern of evergy created through your thoughts/intentions... and all your negative, unconscious, holding-bakc thoughts were relesed that you could be in your heart how you want to BE right now.

You saw, received, mirrored, channeled unconditional love in everything , in each moment, loving what you do, what you eat, who you are unconditionally as projecting that outwards.

You realized that each moment is some how perfect.
You could honor your feelings and also choose them by choosing the best story about this moment, then choosing the next moment.

You had the awareness in each moment to easitly watch your feelings, honor them, see waht reality they caome from, and choose the next moment.

You threw out all the shoulds, have-to's, conditions, and saw only "coulds" in your life.

Everything that came before you was a Divine Blessing.

You were vibrating in unconditional love, joy, and empowerment right now!

Your were completely aligned with your highest spirit right now!

Your body and spirit came to a place of perfect health and balance right now. With Clarity and Inspiration you rode the wave of your Spirit in the maelstrom of life, in wholeness, in Unconditional Love, Joy, Empowerment, Abundance, and Fun!

I bless you with this power right now!

Intention and White Tantra

My time in the US since last March has been challenging. Low self esteem, depression, wondering what I am doing with my life. Falling into scarcity thoughts.

Funny, how I've seen the reality of abundance and easy manifestation yet so easy to fall into that other consciousness.

I spent a few months in SF, then Vermont to land sit at Faerie Camp Destiny, then traipsing around the NorthEast.

Finally I had enough of myself and went to a ceremony and prayed for alignment and joy and clarity. I through out an old intention that no longer worked for me... to follow my passions and trust the universe to support me... because passions are diverse.... part of me wants to stay ... part wants to go... etc.... better to follow the heart passionately, or the intuition, or what glows!

At this Native American ceremony, I worked through judgment and resistance and found myself wondering if any shifts were to happen for me. Finally I fell into Spirit and laying on the floor wondered if anything would happen... in a state half out and half in my body... feeling like I might not get any vision. I yearned for two magical men who in my past had catalyzed me into sublime joyful aligned staes with their presence. But they weren't there. Suddenly it clicked in my mind that I was there, and I could remember the pattern of Being in those ecstatic states. I heaved the depressed energy off of me with a whoop and a cough... once twice three times. And came to my hands and knees laughing, reborn again! The trick now was to remember this.

I prayed for guidance at this ceremony... and Florida came up... specifically the Solstice White Tantric Retreat put on by 3ho.org ... it was amazing. Three days of a ritual intending alignment with ones authentic soul/self... properity and happiness. Stuff is moving. Most every day I fall into the ecstatic state. I catch myself now when I am choosing to be stressed, depressed or despondent. and I shake it off. I am doing chanting and/or kundalini yoga most every day.

I am feeling back to my old fabulous self more and more, with a new twist of course.

I realize that my nomadic path was to shake things up... to learn to keep my center wherever I am. It was easier when I lived in SF... my room... my altar... regular sexual practice to keep the kundalini risen... regular practice of seeing clients to help me remeber.

And yet in some ways I am stronger now. Realizing that I can just catapult myself into the ecstatic state without relying on friends such as my aussie tantric travel mate in Asia... or a regular sexual practice... brings me to a new empowerment... and new stronger place of unconditional love.

I've been writing more about these things and shall post them soon. I am seeing the work I have been doing in new ways.... seeing the similarity between tantra dn the erotic reiki I have developed, etc...

May you be truly Blessed!!!!

Lessons

Last night dancing to DJ's beats in Chaing Mai I had some clarity about my travels. I've been trying to "call my spirit back" for a few days now after finding myself exhausted, evaluating my last 9 mos of travels, detoxing, and a bit depressed. Calling One's Spirit back is a term from Native Americans referring to completely forgiving the past so one can be Full Power Now!

THE SWAMI

I've had a lot of trouble forgiving myself and my first travel mate... we met in Bangkok... I prayed for a travel companion on the mystical path. He prayed for a wacky tantric teacher who could be male. We got each other. We enjoyed crazy wonderful mystical experiences and unconditional love with each other the next three weeks as we followed the Bethelehem grid crystals around Thailand and the Indian Himalaya. Incredible trance states, muddy water turning clear at the drop of a stone, ecstatic orgasmic states at the flick of the hand in the aura, shapeshifting into a four year old, telepathic oneness, shapeshifting into a Kali with milk dripping breasts, and much more filled out our experiences over our first weeks together. I didn't understand it all, but I trusted the energy and was willing to follow it. My mate reached his limits and chickened out. We went from dailly heartspace and mystical experiences to being grumpy roomates as our time together reached one month.

I thought we'd continue. I waited. Although I'd planned to do some trekking, I figured Oneness and shapeshifting into Kali was a bit more interesting! I detoxed negative emotions as our relationship plummeted into the mundane. A month later in Vashisht after a couple reconnections with each other, I thought one night of just leaving. Our vibration together had dropped. Instead of leaving I prayed we'd get it together and continue working our magic. I knew we hadn't quite culminated and maxed our energy exchange. I knew I simultaneous orgasm would do that. Everytime I affirmed and prayed for our deep connection, we'd have a few moments of it. But unbeknownst to me because I wasn't centered nor brave enough to ask, my mate had decided not to continue. Oh, he wanted me to stay, but didn't want to do what we'd been doing.

It took another month to sort that out and move apart. My trekking times and energy passed by. I found myself at the end of my slated 5 months for Asia, and I hadn't accomplished my goals... trekking in the Himalaya and Rajasthan. I extended my trip. Managed to see Everest Base Camp, but never really felt like I accomplished what I came to do.

My last week in India, I picked up the Celestine Prophecy Guidebook... coincidences began to happen. I walked down the street in Pushkar and heard my name called out. It was The Swami... a fellow we'd met in Leh and held Reiki circles with and shared our gifts as healers. We'd travelled with The Swami from Ladakh to Vashisht... he'd invited us to his ashram in the south. The ashram visit wasn't going to work out, though we'd planned to travel with The Swami. But one morning at 6am he knocked on our door and said he was leaving. We were a bit shocked and surprised. It was a great joy to meet The Swami in Pushkar again.

AND HE TOLD ME A MESSAGE....he said he wanted our travel mates from Vashisht to know that he wasn't upset with us when he left. Merely, the energy had dropped and he knew it was time to go. I REALIZED that was a message for me... I "should" have left my mate when our vibration dropped... or at least after my prayers for our reconnection failed a day or two.

LESSON: Feel the vibration. Notice when it is high. Notice when it drops. Do what you can do to try to raise it. Change your stories, watch what stories you are living that make it drop. If the vibration doesn't raise, it's time to leave. You can think of "vibration" as happiness and joy. Get in touch with the Feelings... Yes change stories and set intentions to raise the vibration, but if it doesn't raise and you don't feel good... move on.

HARVEST AND FORGIVENESS: The key to harvesting my past, is to see the perfection. Perhaps I didn't take the actions that would bring me most joy... but THE LESSON is the harvest that makes the Past Perfect!

TAYLOR'S STORIES

I'm so amazed by my new friend Taylor whom I climbed and camped with a few weeks ago. I realize I put him on a pedestal and put myself down... the lesson of course is to integrate the qualities I admire in him into myself as best I can.

Some amazing stories I want to remember from Taylor:

At one point, he worked full-time construction, and then studied to be a black belt in martial arts until midnight every night.

He body surfed all day every day. He discovered being in the ocean for hours removes lice.

He practiced telepathy with his siblings and they could tell when and where their sibling was stranded in the desert.

He ran out of money while travelling in Mexico and though he didn't look destitute and didn't ask, people gave him money and a bus ticket because "they felt like they should". He was living with trust in abundance and that vibration reverberated to others.

FILLING THE VOID

I realize from India that we must remember our intentions and fill our time with what we love.... otherwise others will fill it for us with what they love. In India, the touts will fill your time taking you to shops, the Indian tourists will fill your time praciticing their english. But when we trek, study a new skill, visit the sights, we fill our time for ourselves.

Just before I left the states last year, I was at a ritual and someone made a comment that upset me and through me off my path of enjoying the evening ritual. Suddenly I was full of self doubt and anger and self criticism... UNTIL I thought to pray... to choose first of all to have a good meaningful time that evening... I counter-prayed the doubts of myself that had arisen... I prayed that we all only receive love.... and I had a good ritual!

So the lesson is to remember our choice in each moment, to pray and take actions about "problems" we identify, and to choose how to respond and BE in each moment.

MY PRESENT NOW

I've found Chaing Mai to BE feeling good to me now. A funny spiral... I was high vibration when I was here with my travel mate 8 months ago, then I fell like I spiraled down. Now I am here alone, without the crutch of a mate, and feeling my power and back to a high vibration.

I feel like "making" Chaing Mai my "home"... not sure whether to honor that by extending my trip and staying... or by going to the States, taking care of a few things, and returning....

Raising the Vibration in Thailand

TINKER TAYLOR

I arrived in Thailand 03March after an overnight bus ride from Pushkar to Delhi and then an long flight to Bangkok via Dhaka that arrived at 1am. I napped with a paraglider from Vancouver who talked of riding air currents with the birds... sounds like a thing to put on my list of things to do!

A day or two in Bangkok and I planned to head north. I prayed one morning for a travel companion and a few hours later walking down the street, a tall dreaded blue eyed dude approaches me energy wide open on the street and asks if I know where he might trade his guitar or sell his climbing gear. And Taylor, a hot 25 yo Californian boy entered my life. I ate my second breakfast at a street stand with him and we discussed prospects of me buying his climbing gear. Then we concocted the idea to travel north together and climb. He had time to kill while getting his India visa and plane ticket. It was a virtual repeat of the Austrailian boy I met last July in Bangkok when I prayed for a travel companion then. We went to the same trusted travel agent "Mel Gibson" behind the temple offf of Khao San Road, and Taylor put in his visa request, bought his plane ticket, and the two of us got a bus ticket to Chaing Mai.

A day and a half later we arrived in Chaing Mai after an all night bus ride. Both of us were unsure of each other, but decided to rent a motorbike and ride out to the Crazy Horse Buttress, 45 minutes east of Chaing Mai. Two of us on the bike with packs and climbing gear made quite a load.

We found a mystical limestone crag with beautiful open thatched roof shelters where we could tie our hammocks. Taylor proved to be an amazing rock climbing teacher and we spent three days amidst singing birds, bamboo, and some beautiful climbers who came on day trips. Taylor encouraged me up a 6a (5.10) chimney and got me to do things I didn't think I could do.

I shared Reiki with him and he was vibrating after the treatment. He cooked some amazing omelets on a bamboo fire and shared some great life stories which I will never forget.

One day his grandma who raised him was sewing on a machine and the needle went all the way through her finger tip. She calmly removed the needle from the machine. When Taylor started to get excited, she said, "it's ok, the pain only lasts a little while, then it goes away." She guided Taylor to pull the needle out with some pliers and then she wrapped her finger in a bandage and returned to her sewing. Another time, Taylors favorite toys were stolen by some school bullies. He cried and cried, then decided to pray to God asking to be led to his toys. He spun in circles with the intention to be led to his toys by the direction he ended up when he stopped spinning. H spun himself, then walked into the desert in the resulting direction. In an old tire, he found his toys. Remarkably, there was no way the bullies could have gotten the toys out there that fast. When he told his grandma, she said, "Yes, that's the way things are supposed to work."

Taylor's grandma also got him and his sister started practicing telepathy together. His brother too. They could tell when the other was stuck out in the desert and go find each other. Oddly enough, Taylor was a bit skeptical and amazed at the results of Reiki. I gave him an attunement and when he practiced on my his clairvoyance insight and hot hands shone in full brilliance.

Taylor is truly and amazing human being and I am so thankful for the marvelous days we shared together at Crazy Horse Buttress.

TAYLOR'S VERSION

dear every one hope your all doing well life is good. im in norh thailand [chang mi] waitingfor a bus to bangkok to wisk me away to india. i spentthe last 3 nights camping at a rockclimbing mountaincalled crazy hourse srounded by bamboo and beautifullbirds that sang far into the night. hammocks andmandolins, rock climbing and the best omlets cookedover a camp fire ever! i met the gayest man ive everknowen named dhamiboo whoese a reikei? master, an oldtraveling soul, a good friend, with a mouth that canthelp but spew the ronchiest gay sex stories while yourtrying to swallow your breakfast. the hot springs hereare abundant and nice and sulfery. and every night iwas here the locals set the mountains on fire to clearthe over grouth which makes for an amazing sun setmixed with the mist. dhamiboo did reikei on me for thefirst time in my life, i couldent belive what happenedto me, by body started going numb? [how to explain?]and vibrating and i was like he took every angry,sad, destructive thought out of me and filled me withenergy? or something more profound than any drug iveever tried! you may scoff or joke all you like. it wasREAL. all i could do was lay there and cry at thebeauty out side and inside my self, while touristswalked by with puzzled expressions on there faces....dont worry i didnt let him gay me. but that man hassome beautifull things to say about life. i guess weall do if you listen hard enough. melissa is haveing arough journy, ive forwarded her message below, imhelping her any way i can, she is strong and capableso dont worry to much, we have lots of optionsavailable and the people here are kind, so send hersome good thoughts or prayrs. will write when im inINDIA HA HA. some one please give me prestions phone #or something, send dad my letters, kiss the nephewsand neice and exzagerate my stories to your friends.love taylor

CELESTINE OCCURENCES

After my time with Taylor I found myself detoxing some low self esteem, internalized homophobia, and having trouble gaining my momentum. I'd fallen for Taylor who was undeniably str8, and I suppose I was jealous of his talents and the way str8 people can move about in the world assuming others our str8. I wanted to take off on a motorbike and tour the golden triangle, but was having trouble getting my courage up to travel alone and strike off as a novice on a motorbike.

I met my tantric travel mate from last summer and he was glowing, having met his guru-ji and having marvelous things happen to him. I was feeling down... my manifestation powers for lovers, ease, and fun, seemed elusive. I'd been up til 3am, and had planned to leave at 8 am. It wasn't happening. I was out of my guesthouse, without the gumption to get on the road. I prayed to feel "the energy" and get out of my "depression". An hour or two later I sat feeling lost in a Chaing Mai alleyway, drinking some water. And I felt some energy. I looked up and saw the sign for Mr Wiskey's Guest House... a cool looking place I'd unsuccessfuly tried to get a room over the last week. I realized I was exhausted and decided to get a bunk there. No bunks, but a room was available. I took it. The manager was so cute and shining in energy.

I collapsed in the shaded terrace and watched a movie. A bearded cute frenchman appeared and our eyes met. He was turned away for lack of vacancy in the guest house, so I offered the extra bed in my room. We were hanging out and a guy Andy shows up reading Celestine Prophecy. I let on that I have the "workbook" and Sophie suggests we do an exercise together. So I pick out an intuition excercise and am trying to decide what my question for the exercise will be "What to do tomorrow?" or "How to manifest some lovers?" I settle on the former and we start the exercise, when there is suddenly a guy sitting next to me talking about taking the quietest room, and i say without thinking... "what are you going to be doing there?... maybe I will come by?" and he returns my flirtations bat for bat... and I am thanking the Celestine Prophecy! Another guy wants to try the exercise too and we do and it turns out he is gay. All of the sudden my prayers seem to be answered: friends, lovers, good conversation, etc... are jumping out of the woodwork!

The next day, I feel more and more aligned with myself and feel reiki and energy more! I realize I have found a home to recharge in at Mr Wiskeys! And my prayer for things to manifest easily feels answered!

About me...

In some ways I've been on a walk about for years. In 1989, fresh out of grad school, I finally followed my heart's dream of farming. I sold my car, bought a horse, buggy, and plow, and learned to farm. The used set of wheels I happened to get for my buggy, were painted yellow, with bright red hubs. At the time, I was interested in being more "plain". The local Amish began to refer to me as Rob Yellow Wheels... my wheels sticking out from their plain black wheels. I painted my wheels black before taking a 1 1/2 year walk about with my horse Emma and the buggy from Pennsylvania to New York. I ought to have taken Spirit's hint more seriously. After 7 years with my horse, farming a handful of places in PA and NY, I ended up in San Francisco coming out as a gay man. About years there found me evolving into a rather queer shaman, practicing Reiki and shamanic energywork. In 2004, I felt the call to disband my home there and take up the nomadic life once more. In NYC, I met GregO a nomad from HongKong who said, "Most people can't be gypsys because they are too attached to what works for them... and too attached to what doesn't work for them!" I heard the words in my heart and knew it was time to roam the world a bit. The vision was of a wandering mystic. But sometimes I forget my power and lapse into the mundane.