I wish I could remember all my intentions, but I can't. Vague memories float by. Before I got to Tennessee I set my intentions for my time there. The most important was to regain my center. To regain my full power and empowerment in all my magic.
One day during the gathering there, I offered a "Soul Empowerment Blessing" in which I did an energywork ritual for the participants' healing on all levels, enlightenment, and complete immersion in Unconditional Love, Joy, Empowerment, and Abundance. I, of course, set the intention for myself to receive the same benefits I offered for the participants.
My goal was to get away a bit from limiting intentions and just set the intention that all who came into the circle received this complete blessing.
As we walked into the woods in silence towards the ritual space, I led us in circles around some fire pits on the path. I tangibly felt the energy shift as we spiraled out of our pasts, calling our spirits back completely to the present in complete forgiveness.
The following days I felt some vibrational high points... bursts of energy awareness and spontaneous joy. I continued to work through my judgments and implied separations from the Universal Oneness. I set some more intentions. To be done with my habitual depression patterns, to release my fear based thoughts, to release my judgmental thoughts. At some point I set the intention to be joyful and present every day the rest of my life. At some point I set the intention that everyone I ever worked on with energywork receive similar blessings of "enlightenment" and Unconditional Joy. At some point, I extended that prayer for the world. When I would come across someone that brought up judgment within me, I would counter the thought with a prayer for their enlightenment. At some point, I set the intention to BE the "high" vibration being I had been roaming in India with an Australian, mystical bloke in 2005. We had done some very powerful magic together.
Things seemed to shift slowly at times. Then I got to the airport for my flight to San Francisco. I felt my body buzz with energy and excitement. As I flew seven hours to San Francisco, I consistently felt an overwhelming joy and trust. That was just over a week ago. Every day I have felt such joy, such trust. When my thoughts and habits turn otherwise, I seem to notice and readjust myself.
Time seems to collapse into itself and I feel present with my past as visions of my travels converge into the present. I realize I am the same as I was wandering with the mystical Aussie. In fact, I never really left that path, even though at times I have felt so unempowered and miserable as I whirled in my wanderings.
My first day in San Francisco, I went to the beach with some friends and walked a labyrinth on a cliff above the mighty Pacific. My dear friend suggested we walk barefoot. I stripped off my sandals and felt my tender feet rebel against the little pebbles that dug into my meridians. I laughed at the thought of how I walked barefoot 40 out of 70 miles on a pilgrimage in India. I laughed as I saw my choice to respond with such sensitivity and how that mirrored much of the way I have walked through different cultures and places the last few years. I noted that I might choose to walk more erect and more in my center, rather than reacting so greatly to the stones under my feet.
During this past week, I oft find myself being my usual self with some habit, or judgment. But I catch myself and laugh. I step into the witnessing part of myself. I allow that witness to vibrate in Unconditional Love, Joy, Empowerment, and Abundance, while I watch myself. I see the patterns of creation from my thoughts and habits. How a subtle thought can shift a situation. I witness, I watch, I laugh, I adjust. Layers of judgment and separation peel away.
I've long had this vision of myself as the smiling wanderer, able to find empowerment and joy in all situations. Finally, it seems to be coming true.
I laugh at myself for not intending it sooner, for not intending all these things sooner. It's by no means perfect. I still spiral around different ways of being. But more oft than not, I laugh. More oft than not, I find my Awareness kick in and I make different choices.
I see such beauty in the world. I see such a great opportunity for change ... for transformation ... for the world to step into economic stability and all that that implies.... sustainability. I pray to the faces I see drift by me in this walk we call life, and I pray for them. As I pray for myself. As I pray for you.