Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Clueless and Present

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my sister and inquired how my young nephew was doing. He tends to be lost in his own world. "Well, he's present, but clueless." she replied. We laughed. I said, "Well, that's a pretty good way to BE!" Some of us in my family, including myself, are noted for their worry, overthinking, and indecisiveness at times.

I've oft thought in recent years how wonderful it is to be naive, innocent, clueless. To be Present to what is going on, without the judgments of interpetation, labeling, and analysis, that create separation and duality. To know someone just as they are without labels of overweight, overly dramatic, and that person that did X to me six months ago. To be fresh and innocent as a child or a visitor on a virgin visit.

I remember years ago, hanging out with friends in social situations. The group would disperse, and someone would be with me and say, "Did you notice how ___ X was?" And I would sheepishly reply, "No". I hadn't noticed anything. To me the person was just being their own unique self, doing what they do. I wasn't pigeonholing them into some history of annoying habits, nor was I putting them into a history of good habits.

It's a difficult state to maintain. We tend to repeat experiences and the more we repeat, the more we think we know. The mind likes to accumulate bits of "knowledge". The mind is a gift when we master it, but a ball and chain when it masters us.

Take something like sex. Years ago, when I first came out, I was just so amazed that I could be having sex with some beautiful man. It took my breath away. I didn't know what I liked historically because I had no history. I could only say what felt good and what didn't in the present moment. Now I have a history. Now I have a range of experience. My mind can invade the present with labels, probabilities, expectations, mental constructions of what I think I want. It can start a dialogue, well more like a monalogue, like a baseball commentator.

The process can happen with anything, whether sex, painting, doing Reiki, touching God(dess). The more we do it, the more we tend to think about it. This is where the practice of awareness can come in... we can take our awareness of the present and choose a different path. We can choose to focus on the energy sensations of Reiki, or our breath, rather than focusing on the thoughts. We can choose to just be that witness, rather than identify with our thoughts or emotions. With practice we can become clueless.

That is one thing I have always enjoyed about Reiki. You can just focus on the energy. You don't have to analyze it. Just follow the flow. The mind strives for control. It wants to know why, what's wrong, facts, figures, concepts. But the Reiki just is, if we let it be.

I remember doing Reiki on a lover of mine. There was lots of energy flow around his abdomen. I thought that was a good thing... the more flow, the more healing, the more better. My friend had some training in Reiki. He'd been doing sex work, getting penetrated was his "thing", but he'd been feeling some imbalance in his belly. When we finished the session, he said, "Did you feel that?" "What?", I replied. "All that energy around my belly?" "Oh, that, yeah, I guess so, now that you mention it." "You know what that means don't you?" "ummmm what?" I asked. "That my belly is really messed up!" he exclaimed. I told him I didn't see it that way at all. I didn't place that judgment on the session or him. The important thing was how he felt after the session, if he was pain free now. If there was that much energy flowing, I would say the imbalance was healed.

Sometimes I resist even giving any form of metaphysical diagnosis. Diagnosis can serve a purpose in quieting the mind that wants to know the "why" of a dis-ease. A diagnosis only serves when it can be released. Most of the time I attract clients that understand this. A few times I haven't. In particular I remember doing group healings years ago in New Mexico. I would work on a group of 20 or so at a time, going through the standard Intuitive Energy Medicine protocol. It included a muscle testing assessment to determine what was out of balance on each person, and then the energy work to balance all the conditions. I would do the assessments, record them for each person. After the session, I would burn the papers for confidentiality purposes, and also symbolically transmute the imbalances. In those groups, there would always be a couple of people who wanted to save their assessment to know what was wrong with them. It would take me several minutes to explain, that the purpose of the session was to let go of those patterns, that my intention was that they had no reason to remember them because they were going to BE in a new way.

My advice to healers is if you can't heal it, don't diagnose it... I suppose there is a caveat if you know of someone to refer the client to.

I'm digressing a bit.

Thoughts come and go; paradigms come and go; analyses get proven and disproven; preferences change; impermanence abounds. The constant is that part of you that witnesses. Ground that witness in unconditional love. Let the rest go, or even keep it, just don't identify with it.

Yes, be Present and True to yourself... focus on the present energy and what feels good, what you would like the next moment to look like, based on the present moment. Keep it moment to moment. Keep it to your highest intentions. Listen as much as you "talk". Listen to the energy of your higher self. By Clueless, I don't mean unaware. I mean unencumbered by the Past, and the Future. I mean empty of all stories but Unconditional Love, Joy, Abundance, and Empowerment. Be simple. Focus on the warm glow within.

Breathe. Observe as a child. Enjoy the experience. Be Clueless and Present.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Dharma Talk: A Question about Surrender


Life is such a tango isn't it?! i want to surrender to it, i feel like I'm ready to let go a bit more. All i want is to be of use to the universe, and get myself out of the way so that it can sing through me!


I have been working on that surrender thing myself.

You are of most use to the Universe when you are in your Joy, meaning that you are just as Divinely of Service to the Universe whether you are teaching yoga or taking a nap. It's as much about being in flow with your unique self.

There is a bit of dichotomy in the process as well, for a truly enlightened person will be at peace wherever they are, and yet also realize that honoring themselves is part of the process. So you don't need to be any sort of martyr to provide selfless service, and yet if you find yourself in a matyr-like position, you might as well enjoy it. This is where Empowerment comes in... finding your power in the moment and making a conscious choice both in the present moment and in your intention for the next moment. For instance, if you were suddenly feeling like a matyr in taking care os someone, you might decide to continue to and chanel the infinite energy of the universe, or you might choose to ask for a replacment to take over.

And its all about whatever story you put to It. If you are practicing surrender, you need to be acutely aware of what you are surrendering to. For us intentionalists, it can be messy to bridge into the reality of surrender. For example I try to live that the universe will provide me with perfect lovers, adventures, abundance, and I have some preconceived intentions/ideas about what those are. If I remember that I am choosing the reality of the Universe just automatically providing the best for me, then I can make out alright. But if I am thinking such things as I get given crappy lovers when I travel, or perhaps feel like my mission in the moment is to paint a painting and why is a lover being thrown in my face... then I may be continually second guessing/not accepting what the universe is offering me when I surrender.

In Indian philosophy, there is bhakti and jnana. Bhakti is "thy wish"... total devotion to all, and jnana is "my wish", total intention and empowerment. Both paths are valid, it's just knowing which one you are on.

To sum up, listen to what glows, follow it in complete trust. Reaffirm your intentions/reality. Practice non-attachment, for it is a big thing to truly surrender to your highest self. Practice Unconditional Love.

And Finally, the short and sweet I've been waiting for:

Use your "vision"... that of the universe singing through you... create that into an affirmation, because the vision integrates all the little details:

The Universe sings through me as I sing and dance my highest spirit through life.
I sing, I dance, I am.
Each moment I am Present
I sing, I dance, I am
Each step I take is aligned with my Highest Spirit
I sing, I dance, I am
I honor the Universe in all that I do
I sing, I dance, I am
The Universe honors me and supports me unconditionally
I sing, I dance, I am
My life is a song and beautiful dance
I sing, I dance, I am


try it... tweak it... make the affirmation work for you... repeat often, at least once a day, and see where it leads you....


I find a practice such as Reiki helps because if you simply focus on the Reiki energy, then you are pretty much "there".