Saturday, March 18, 2006


Last night dancing to DJ's beats in Chaing Mai I had some clarity about my travels. I've been trying to "call my spirit back" for a few days now after finding myself exhausted, evaluating my last 9 mos of travels, detoxing, and a bit depressed. Calling One's Spirit back is a term from Native Americans referring to completely forgiving the past so one can be Full Power Now!


I've had a lot of trouble forgiving myself and my first travel mate... we met in Bangkok... I prayed for a travel companion on the mystical path. He prayed for a wacky tantric teacher who could be male. We got each other. We enjoyed crazy wonderful mystical experiences and unconditional love with each other the next three weeks as we followed the Bethelehem grid crystals around Thailand and the Indian Himalaya. Incredible trance states, muddy water turning clear at the drop of a stone, ecstatic orgasmic states at the flick of the hand in the aura, shapeshifting into a four year old, telepathic oneness, shapeshifting into a Kali with milk dripping breasts, and much more filled out our experiences over our first weeks together. I didn't understand it all, but I trusted the energy and was willing to follow it. My mate reached his limits and chickened out. We went from dailly heartspace and mystical experiences to being grumpy roomates as our time together reached one month.

I thought we'd continue. I waited. Although I'd planned to do some trekking, I figured Oneness and shapeshifting into Kali was a bit more interesting! I detoxed negative emotions as our relationship plummeted into the mundane. A month later in Vashisht after a couple reconnections with each other, I thought one night of just leaving. Our vibration together had dropped. Instead of leaving I prayed we'd get it together and continue working our magic. I knew we hadn't quite culminated and maxed our energy exchange. I knew I simultaneous orgasm would do that. Everytime I affirmed and prayed for our deep connection, we'd have a few moments of it. But unbeknownst to me because I wasn't centered nor brave enough to ask, my mate had decided not to continue. Oh, he wanted me to stay, but didn't want to do what we'd been doing.

It took another month to sort that out and move apart. My trekking times and energy passed by. I found myself at the end of my slated 5 months for Asia, and I hadn't accomplished my goals... trekking in the Himalaya and Rajasthan. I extended my trip. Managed to see Everest Base Camp, but never really felt like I accomplished what I came to do.

My last week in India, I picked up the Celestine Prophecy Guidebook... coincidences began to happen. I walked down the street in Pushkar and heard my name called out. It was The Swami... a fellow we'd met in Leh and held Reiki circles with and shared our gifts as healers. We'd travelled with The Swami from Ladakh to Vashisht... he'd invited us to his ashram in the south. The ashram visit wasn't going to work out, though we'd planned to travel with The Swami. But one morning at 6am he knocked on our door and said he was leaving. We were a bit shocked and surprised. It was a great joy to meet The Swami in Pushkar again.

AND HE TOLD ME A MESSAGE....he said he wanted our travel mates from Vashisht to know that he wasn't upset with us when he left. Merely, the energy had dropped and he knew it was time to go. I REALIZED that was a message for me... I "should" have left my mate when our vibration dropped... or at least after my prayers for our reconnection failed a day or two.

LESSON: Feel the vibration. Notice when it is high. Notice when it drops. Do what you can do to try to raise it. Change your stories, watch what stories you are living that make it drop. If the vibration doesn't raise, it's time to leave. You can think of "vibration" as happiness and joy. Get in touch with the Feelings... Yes change stories and set intentions to raise the vibration, but if it doesn't raise and you don't feel good... move on.

HARVEST AND FORGIVENESS: The key to harvesting my past, is to see the perfection. Perhaps I didn't take the actions that would bring me most joy... but THE LESSON is the harvest that makes the Past Perfect!


I'm so amazed by my new friend Taylor whom I climbed and camped with a few weeks ago. I realize I put him on a pedestal and put myself down... the lesson of course is to integrate the qualities I admire in him into myself as best I can.

Some amazing stories I want to remember from Taylor:

At one point, he worked full-time construction, and then studied to be a black belt in martial arts until midnight every night.

He body surfed all day every day. He discovered being in the ocean for hours removes lice.

He practiced telepathy with his siblings and they could tell when and where their sibling was stranded in the desert.

He ran out of money while travelling in Mexico and though he didn't look destitute and didn't ask, people gave him money and a bus ticket because "they felt like they should". He was living with trust in abundance and that vibration reverberated to others.


I realize from India that we must remember our intentions and fill our time with what we love.... otherwise others will fill it for us with what they love. In India, the touts will fill your time taking you to shops, the Indian tourists will fill your time praciticing their english. But when we trek, study a new skill, visit the sights, we fill our time for ourselves.

Just before I left the states last year, I was at a ritual and someone made a comment that upset me and through me off my path of enjoying the evening ritual. Suddenly I was full of self doubt and anger and self criticism... UNTIL I thought to pray... to choose first of all to have a good meaningful time that evening... I counter-prayed the doubts of myself that had arisen... I prayed that we all only receive love.... and I had a good ritual!

So the lesson is to remember our choice in each moment, to pray and take actions about "problems" we identify, and to choose how to respond and BE in each moment.


I've found Chaing Mai to BE feeling good to me now. A funny spiral... I was high vibration when I was here with my travel mate 8 months ago, then I fell like I spiraled down. Now I am here alone, without the crutch of a mate, and feeling my power and back to a high vibration.

I feel like "making" Chaing Mai my "home"... not sure whether to honor that by extending my trip and staying... or by going to the States, taking care of a few things, and returning....

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Raising the Vibration in Thailand


I arrived in Thailand 03March after an overnight bus ride from Pushkar to Delhi and then an long flight to Bangkok via Dhaka that arrived at 1am. I napped with a paraglider from Vancouver who talked of riding air currents with the birds... sounds like a thing to put on my list of things to do!

A day or two in Bangkok and I planned to head north. I prayed one morning for a travel companion and a few hours later walking down the street, a tall dreaded blue eyed dude approaches me energy wide open on the street and asks if I know where he might trade his guitar or sell his climbing gear. And Taylor, a hot 25 yo Californian boy entered my life. I ate my second breakfast at a street stand with him and we discussed prospects of me buying his climbing gear. Then we concocted the idea to travel north together and climb. He had time to kill while getting his India visa and plane ticket. It was a virtual repeat of the Austrailian boy I met last July in Bangkok when I prayed for a travel companion then. We went to the same trusted travel agent "Mel Gibson" behind the temple offf of Khao San Road, and Taylor put in his visa request, bought his plane ticket, and the two of us got a bus ticket to Chaing Mai.

A day and a half later we arrived in Chaing Mai after an all night bus ride. Both of us were unsure of each other, but decided to rent a motorbike and ride out to the Crazy Horse Buttress, 45 minutes east of Chaing Mai. Two of us on the bike with packs and climbing gear made quite a load.

We found a mystical limestone crag with beautiful open thatched roof shelters where we could tie our hammocks. Taylor proved to be an amazing rock climbing teacher and we spent three days amidst singing birds, bamboo, and some beautiful climbers who came on day trips. Taylor encouraged me up a 6a (5.10) chimney and got me to do things I didn't think I could do.

I shared Reiki with him and he was vibrating after the treatment. He cooked some amazing omelets on a bamboo fire and shared some great life stories which I will never forget.

One day his grandma who raised him was sewing on a machine and the needle went all the way through her finger tip. She calmly removed the needle from the machine. When Taylor started to get excited, she said, "it's ok, the pain only lasts a little while, then it goes away." She guided Taylor to pull the needle out with some pliers and then she wrapped her finger in a bandage and returned to her sewing. Another time, Taylors favorite toys were stolen by some school bullies. He cried and cried, then decided to pray to God asking to be led to his toys. He spun in circles with the intention to be led to his toys by the direction he ended up when he stopped spinning. H spun himself, then walked into the desert in the resulting direction. In an old tire, he found his toys. Remarkably, there was no way the bullies could have gotten the toys out there that fast. When he told his grandma, she said, "Yes, that's the way things are supposed to work."

Taylor's grandma also got him and his sister started practicing telepathy together. His brother too. They could tell when the other was stuck out in the desert and go find each other. Oddly enough, Taylor was a bit skeptical and amazed at the results of Reiki. I gave him an attunement and when he practiced on my his clairvoyance insight and hot hands shone in full brilliance.

Taylor is truly and amazing human being and I am so thankful for the marvelous days we shared together at Crazy Horse Buttress.


dear every one hope your all doing well life is good. im in norh thailand [chang mi] waitingfor a bus to bangkok to wisk me away to india. i spentthe last 3 nights camping at a rockclimbing mountaincalled crazy hourse srounded by bamboo and beautifullbirds that sang far into the night. hammocks andmandolins, rock climbing and the best omlets cookedover a camp fire ever! i met the gayest man ive everknowen named dhamiboo whoese a reikei? master, an oldtraveling soul, a good friend, with a mouth that canthelp but spew the ronchiest gay sex stories while yourtrying to swallow your breakfast. the hot springs hereare abundant and nice and sulfery. and every night iwas here the locals set the mountains on fire to clearthe over grouth which makes for an amazing sun setmixed with the mist. dhamiboo did reikei on me for thefirst time in my life, i couldent belive what happenedto me, by body started going numb? [how to explain?]and vibrating and i was like he took every angry,sad, destructive thought out of me and filled me withenergy? or something more profound than any drug iveever tried! you may scoff or joke all you like. it wasREAL. all i could do was lay there and cry at thebeauty out side and inside my self, while touristswalked by with puzzled expressions on there faces....dont worry i didnt let him gay me. but that man hassome beautifull things to say about life. i guess weall do if you listen hard enough. melissa is haveing arough journy, ive forwarded her message below, imhelping her any way i can, she is strong and capableso dont worry to much, we have lots of optionsavailable and the people here are kind, so send hersome good thoughts or prayrs. will write when im inINDIA HA HA. some one please give me prestions phone #or something, send dad my letters, kiss the nephewsand neice and exzagerate my stories to your taylor


After my time with Taylor I found myself detoxing some low self esteem, internalized homophobia, and having trouble gaining my momentum. I'd fallen for Taylor who was undeniably str8, and I suppose I was jealous of his talents and the way str8 people can move about in the world assuming others our str8. I wanted to take off on a motorbike and tour the golden triangle, but was having trouble getting my courage up to travel alone and strike off as a novice on a motorbike.

I met my tantric travel mate from last summer and he was glowing, having met his guru-ji and having marvelous things happen to him. I was feeling down... my manifestation powers for lovers, ease, and fun, seemed elusive. I'd been up til 3am, and had planned to leave at 8 am. It wasn't happening. I was out of my guesthouse, without the gumption to get on the road. I prayed to feel "the energy" and get out of my "depression". An hour or two later I sat feeling lost in a Chaing Mai alleyway, drinking some water. And I felt some energy. I looked up and saw the sign for Mr Wiskey's Guest House... a cool looking place I'd unsuccessfuly tried to get a room over the last week. I realized I was exhausted and decided to get a bunk there. No bunks, but a room was available. I took it. The manager was so cute and shining in energy.

I collapsed in the shaded terrace and watched a movie. A bearded cute frenchman appeared and our eyes met. He was turned away for lack of vacancy in the guest house, so I offered the extra bed in my room. We were hanging out and a guy Andy shows up reading Celestine Prophecy. I let on that I have the "workbook" and Sophie suggests we do an exercise together. So I pick out an intuition excercise and am trying to decide what my question for the exercise will be "What to do tomorrow?" or "How to manifest some lovers?" I settle on the former and we start the exercise, when there is suddenly a guy sitting next to me talking about taking the quietest room, and i say without thinking... "what are you going to be doing there?... maybe I will come by?" and he returns my flirtations bat for bat... and I am thanking the Celestine Prophecy! Another guy wants to try the exercise too and we do and it turns out he is gay. All of the sudden my prayers seem to be answered: friends, lovers, good conversation, etc... are jumping out of the woodwork!

The next day, I feel more and more aligned with myself and feel reiki and energy more! I realize I have found a home to recharge in at Mr Wiskeys! And my prayer for things to manifest easily feels answered!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

About me...

In some ways I've been on a walk about for years. In 1989, fresh out of grad school, I finally followed my heart's dream of farming. I sold my car, bought a horse, buggy, and plow, and learned to farm. The used set of wheels I happened to get for my buggy, were painted yellow, with bright red hubs. At the time, I was interested in being more "plain". The local Amish began to refer to me as Rob Yellow Wheels... my wheels sticking out from their plain black wheels. I painted my wheels black before taking a 1 1/2 year walk about with my horse Emma and the buggy from Pennsylvania to New York. I ought to have taken Spirit's hint more seriously. After 7 years with my horse, farming a handful of places in PA and NY, I ended up in San Francisco coming out as a gay man. About years there found me evolving into a rather queer shaman, practicing Reiki and shamanic energywork. In 2004, I felt the call to disband my home there and take up the nomadic life once more. In NYC, I met GregO a nomad from HongKong who said, "Most people can't be gypsys because they are too attached to what works for them... and too attached to what doesn't work for them!" I heard the words in my heart and knew it was time to roam the world a bit. The vision was of a wandering mystic. But sometimes I forget my power and lapse into the mundane.


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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Happy New Year From India

Dear Friends,

May this find you full of many heartfelt blessings for 2006!

Love and Light to you from India.

I have been in Asia (Thailand, India, Nepal, and India again) since June 2005. A couple more months before I land in San Francisco for a short period as I continue the life of the wandering wizard.

Sometimes, in fact too often, I feel far more mundane than a wandering wizard. Yet I have had some very rich and vibrant experiences.

My first days were hard as I landed in Bangkok... many fears and stresses got the best of me. I found Bangkok not so easy as I expected... pollution, touts, hustlers. In my first two days I got hustled by a date and taken for an expensive boat ride. I prayed for a travel companion as I wasn't enjoying it alone. That afternoon I met a bloke, new to Reiki, who was intriqued by my SF friend's mission for me to install some "Bethelehem Grid" crystals in Chaing Mai and the Himalaya's to integrate the empowerment of Christ Consciousness around the world's energy ley lines. The crystals took us for some wild adventures.

I can't quite remember my exact prayer for a travel companion, whether it was for a lover or friend or what. But my new friend had prayed for a wacky Tantric master, and our relationship was intense and an un-labelable mix of friends, lovers, tantric dakini/muse, Reiki teacher/student, wacky wizard peers, and travel companion. I taught him Reiki and Erotic Reiki. He taught me about trust and wacky wandering wizardry. And the Bethlehem Grid Crystals took us on a grand adventure, full of shapeshifting, wackiness, a visit from a Spirit Guide who was Glenda the Good Witch (I could never quite grasp the esoteric guides like St. Germain and Christ), and watersports. We had a lot of fun, and nearly became One over the next few weeks as we visited Pai in Thailand, Chaing Mai, Delhi, and Keylong, before visiting Leh. One day he did Reiki on me and shapeshifted into a Kali figure with breasts dripping milk that we both felt!

In Keylong, a Himalayan Mountain village we trekked to a nearby monastery and camped on the hillside at a "tent resort". A tiny stream ran by the kitchen tent and provided the drinking (for the locals) and wash water for the kitchen. One morning it was dirty and we glanced upstream to see a shepherd herding the village cattle. Apparently they had wandered through the water. I had a piece of granite I'd picked up at Rohtang Pass and chanted with during a break on our bus ride into the mountains. Something told me to put this stone in the water and so I followed my intuition. As I laid it in the streambed, I had the thought it might cleanse the water. "Nah, I thought... don't hold such big expectations," and I placed the stone, and turned away without looking at the water. I turned to my tantric friend and he said "hey, did you see that water just cleared up?"

October found me and three friends teaching Reiki in Rishikesh at the request of a yoga swami. He found an amazing Temple/ashram for us to teach in. I became preoccuppied with writing manuals for us to use... I had never written my own Reiki II and III manuals. Swami Omesh asked me to teach his brother Reiki... all three levels because he couldn't be his brother's guru. I soon became "gugu-ji" for Naresh the Cosem, an amazing 17 yo whiz kid who has the strongest Reiki hands I ever felt. When I told him how our thoughts create reality, he said, "Wherever I walk there will be no war." I gasped, realizing such are the thoughts and realities of Buddha's and Christ's. I realized he was a child prodigy and felt comfortable making him a Reiki Master. Strange for me to be someone's guru, something I don't really understand, I found myself overwhelmed with his adorations. One day during Reiki circle, I was the first recipient. I lay down and closed my eyes while the others gave me Reiki. Fred told me Naresh kissed the amulet I gave him, and went into full prostrations before me before doing Reiki on me. And another day, Naresh looked into my eyes and stated, "I love you Guru-ji!" Apparently, in the Hindi culture, the guru is bigger than God because they have lead the disciple to God. And the disciple must pray to their guru before praying to God when they do their prayers. The day I left Rishikesh, Naresh was a sad as if a lover or mother was leaving him. I was touched. I also chuckled to myself since I hadn't "come out" to them and at some point Naresh would discover his guru is a faggot in a culture that is homophobic.

December brought me to the "Third Pole" in a trek to Everest Base Camp in Nepal. My company was a German friend and his 13 yo dog Eddi, who was always ahead of us wondering why we were so slow! Eddi became famous amongst the trekkers and locals as Everest Eddi. I prayed for you all on top of Kala Patthar, a 5500 m peak that is dwarfed by it's neighboring giants: Everest, Nupste, Lohtse, Pumo Ri.

I finally took a rock climbing class in Kathmandu and faced some of my fears of heights... a cycle of completion that started a few years ago when I happened to use climbing as a parable for intention in life. "Look at where you can go, and where you want to go, not at where you can't go and don't want to go". Sauraha, a village in the Chitwan jungle of Nepal provided a favorite spot where I rode a bicycle around Tharu villages and enjoyed strange flirtations with closeted Nepali men. One showed me around the jungle and had me buy him lunch and a drink. After his drink, he said "you ... me ... first love... this is the best day of my life!" Then the 23 yo father of 2 took me to his wattle and daub mud hut, introduced me to his wife and kids, and said he'd return to my guest house and spend the night with me! I bowed out, not wanting to be a sugar daddy that I'd become, and a bit afraid that I was misinterpreting his "first love" comments.

In January, enroute from Nepal on a boneshaking bus ride where the windows vibrated open every 5 minutes, I met another "tantric straight guy". He asked me how I made the whole room vibrate with my orgasm. I told him it was just the sum total of my intentions... "gee... i don't know... i just do it..." We landed in Varanasi and shared some energywork together. Last week I experienced a little Shiva festival wherein families take their statues of gods/goddesses to the Gange to be blessed in processions of drunken, loud, dancing down the streets. Three bicycle rickshaws... one for the statues, one for the generator for the stereo, and one for the stereo and speakers. One of the most intense experiences of my life as I was immersed in latent "undercover" homosexual energy amongst the men of the family in this family setting; as I sat on a couch with the menfolk, a pushy Uncle who had me feel his biceps and pecs, gave me the secret handshake that means I want to be alone with you.

The attention I receive from men in India is intense... they like my beard a piercings: "very look good", they say. In November at a festival in Varanasi, I sat on the crowded ghats. A man said how nice my bald-shaved head was, asked if he could pet it. For 15 minutes, he pet my head, talked about how he loved girls and music, and three times he asked to kiss it. I sat in a bliss that was held ransome by the staring crowds of Hindis surrounding us. Then he and his friends sauntered off.

One big interesting trip it's been and continues to be!!!

I pray for you and send Reiki out to you all often. I continue to learn that it's important for me/us to ask for what want.... in Varanasi one is constantly barraged by others asking what they want... mainly to sell boatrides, rickshaw rides, silks, etc... And I continually learn to go by my a place working for me? or not? do something... move... move towards the light and passions... fill ourselves up with things that bring light and passion. I continue to see how we create our realities with our thoughts, intentions, and background stories.

The other night, I had a dream in which I began to fly. At first, Spirit gave me a board to fly on. Later I flew on my own. I met others and saw that I could fly in the astral plane, that my spirit could be more than one place at once. And I began to teach others to do so. At one point I was flying with a yellow dinosaur like monster on me... He didn't realize what he was on. I was taking him to safety. Then he looked down and realized he could eat me. I became scared, but beamed him love and shook off his attacks and landed him safely at the top of a cliff over the great chasm. I realized the dream was about unconditional love and transmuting our monsters. And also about our choices in choosing the planes of reality we live on.

May you all learn to fly and be in the most fabulous realities and transmute your monsters safely.

I anticipate being in San Francisco in April - May on on the West Coast into early summer. Please let me know if you would like and distance teachings or sessions, or if you would like to make an in person appointment when I am in your town. Also let me know if you would like to see online photos or blogs. I have some on,, and, and shutterfly....Much love and blessings from the Holy Ganges