Potentially Dissapearing

I've been working hard on my abundance/scarcity issues. Part of what seems to be coming up for me is that "I must be empty in order to receive." Along with giving up physical possessions, I am considering giving up my "internet possessions" ... meaning I feel some calling to deleting this blog because I feel a calling to do so, and I'm not sure it is really serving others, or myself for that matter.

I seem to be finding in my abundance explorations that either my highest Spirit is bent on me liquidating my financial wealth... or my own scarcity stories are doing so... I've gone from $4500 (which is nearly my yearly cost of living, and was really enough that i could follow my intuition off to Ladakh with "reasonable comfort"... meaning enough to eat and sleep and not too much more for the rest of the year) to about $2000 in the past 3 months.

I am considering that perhaps Spirit wants me to really trust and travel to asia with barely enough for a return ticket. Or considering that Spirit does not want me to go to Asia... though I suppose it might be easier if Spirit just told my intuition to stay here and not go to Asia rather than to dissolve my assets.

Its interesting to watch myself delve inward and shut myself off more and more the more I lose money. Its interesting to watch myself freeze, waiting for income, rather than to keep moving and doing what needs to be done if I am to travel.

I've always said true abundance is giving away your rent money the day before rent is due because you feel called to, and knowing trusting that the day rent is due, your rent money will appear.

So perhaps that means getting my one way ticket to Asia, trusting the money to live on will come, and trusting the money for the return ticket will come.

Perhaps I ought to have defined true abundance as having a bank account full of ten thousand dollars! hehe. Not sure why I choose the toughest/easiest realities to attempt to live.