The days turn into weeks as I live a life of seva in the Butternut Valley of NY. Mundane, terribly mundane, and yet the mystical is there most daily as I pick up the slack left by my deceased Uncle in visiting my Aunt who lays quite debilitated by Alzheimers in a nursing home.
Most every day that I drive the rolling hills to town to see my Dear Aunt, I am struck by subtle visions of power animals and the like. It's hard seeing her and the nursing home full of people that seem to be suffering... or rather seem to be lacking in enjoyment of their incarnation on life. It's easiest when I can be in a place of Unconditional Love and Empowerment, trusting that they have choices spiritually... that their existence is Divine in spite of the seeming suffering that my ego perceives.
It's hard for me to remember the reality of Empowerment. I find myself oft in judgment rather than acceptance and non-attachment, though I do have my breakthroughs. It's best when I remember to channel Reiki. One day I sat with my Aunt and happened to think to hold my stone from Ghandi Tal against her gnarled hand. This is the stone that vibrated me out of the reality of cold symptoms and knee pain into remembering that I could indeed shift my energy field and reality into one of health and full function of my knees. As I held the stone against her hand, her eyes brightened. I think she felt it.
It's difficult to break the shackles of judgment. To refrain from imposing the concept that the residents in the nursing home are stuck, miserable, and suffering. To try to think that they have the power to heal, the power to choose, the power to leave their earthly realm when they wish. And yet, I know as a healer, that that is the best space I can try to hold for them and myself. To remember that I can step outside my judgments and beam unconditional love towards them. That I can choose to be in a place of joy, and try to shed that light upon them. Instead of walking through the hallways of invalids, eyes downcast in saddness, I can validate their presence with eye contact and smiles. Sharing my trust in God with them. Sharing my belief that they can be healthy and whole with them. For if I choose the former reality, then we are all stuck in it... most of all... me..... and if I choose the latter reality, then I move myself into it, and carry others with me.
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2 comments:
If I may, i'd like to ask a question...i've been reading your many accounts of your healing capabilities. I am confused as to why, with your seemingly limitless power to heal, that your aunt is still plagued by Alzheimer's?? Do you believe that it is because of her limitations, or perhaps a deficit in your powers?
Thanks for your comment/question.
It is a good one.
I believe that I can strive to work better, to be a more powerful healer, and that perhaps if I were a stronger healer, that I could do a better job in shifting her/my/our reality.
And, I also believe that perhaps things are perfect as they are, that there is nothing wrong with her existence as it is. After all I have no idea whether she is suffering or not because she can't/won't talk. She may be working much bigger magic with regard to her family and surrounding peoples in the nursing home.
One of my Aunt's daughters claims that since I came around and started doing Reiki directly, my Aunt has become more alert. I don't know because I wasn't there before.
In traditional Reiki paradigms, we always hold space for the highest good, and let go of specific ideas of healing.
In a broader sense, I have held high the idea of Divine Union between client and practitioner. Not every healer is appropriate for every client. Not every client is ready to receive.
I have been trying to shift myself into paradigms of everybody being able to receive, regardless.
I could believe that the results are based on either her or my limitations, but choosing that reality seems to be a lower vibration.
Does that make sense?
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